Am I wrong or bad?

You are right. I am not a perfect person either. I was a bitch, and I have since apologized once I thought about it. No, I am not looking for validation of whether I am a good person, I just want to know if I over reacted, and yes, I did, very much so. I made a wrong choice. I am paying for it now.

That is a very different story.

It seems to me he doesn't have a clue about your serious health problems. Either he doesn't know about them, or doesn't understand at all, or completely disregards them or is very stupid. Have you explained your health situation to him?

Im suspicious as to how this story unfolded. I think the knowledge of her health would have been foremost in the opening. I might not have been so judgemental

The real issue is that he did not pay attention to what she said - or so it seems.

She says he's done this for a very long time.

Did he deliberately disregard her instructions? Or was he on his own wave-length and just started the dinner, without processing her instructions? Did she give confusing and multiple instructions? Is he hard of hearing? Was he drinking? god - the list could go on and on . . .

I hear this kind of complaint all the time from my women friends. My GF claims her husband is ADD. That way she can justify him not listening to her, so she doesn't choke him.

I'd let it go and next time - put the instructions in writing or have him repeat it back to her. This was a simple incident, but if he's not hearing or has a problem, someday a real serious incident could happen.

PS - ages, please.

based on this alone, I would say you have every right to be mad. He sounds like a jerk. Cooking something he knew you couldn't eat is mean.

We have a mind meld farmer.

Call me skeptical, but I'm not entirely buying this deal of all of a sudden we're informed of weight loss surgery, cancer, and whatever else. Oh! The being together/knowing him 27 years! If you've been together 27 years I don't imagine this particular incident would be some sort of crossing the Rubicon moment that you have to go to complete strangers to ask if you're a bad person.
If you've simply known the person 27 years, including pre-boyfriend, you can't expect that person to know such things. My husband doesn't know everything I like and don't like and vice versa.

Just seems to convenient these conditions are present only after people where calling her on her pettiness.

In addition, she was going to grilled chicken, and he baked it. What's the diff? You pull off the skin and you have lean meat. Potato salad with mayo vs mashed potato? I don't see how one has any more of the fat she was saying she couldn't eat. Even if it did, if you've had weight loss surgery, you would be concentrating on proteins anyway, and wouldn't be eating more than a bit. You pull off some chicken meat and there you go.

You work with what you got.

Then he's being childish and manipulative. Is this a pattern with him?

I still don't see where you are in the wrong . You're on a special diet, he knows it and chose to intentionally make something you can't eat.

tweedle fman and tweedle chai,

I would like to hear the diff. the potato is a WHITE fruit that sends glycemic indices a note on the glucose tolerance.
Taters are taters. adding mayo or n0t would only UP the gI.

I knew an RN of all things, that had one of the operations, can't remember which. This was a few years ago.

Doing a quick google, it looks like there are 64 different types of W/L surgeries. This is a cut and paste:

Gastric Sleeve
Gastric Bypass
Duodenal Switch
Lap-Band
Gastric Balloon
vBloc Therapy

I believe RN had the gastric bypass. Anyway, I saw her maybe 6-8 months afterwards. She'd lost quite a bit of weight, but looked like sh*t.
She lifted her top, and I literally gasped. The scar (which was bigger than I thought it would be) was angry red, and actually seemed to be weeping in a couple of places. She said it hadn't healed because she wasn't following needed food changes. She could only eat a few bites, and of course primary concern is high quality protein. She was eating anything else but. No wonder she wasn't healing, she wasn't a well person.

I saw her again within the year at an event, and she had put most of the weight back on. There was a buffet lunch, and we were sitting at the same table. She came back to the table with a small plate, with a piece of baklava and some grapes. Jesus wept.

I've known others who have been more successful, but everyone gains back some of the lost weight. Not that gaining some back is necessarily a bad thing.

Not to dwell, but I found it interesting clueless has only said "weight loss surgery" Every person I've known (probably more than a dozen) has always referred to it as whichever type of procedure it was, not "weight loss surgery."

Yeah, the more I'm typing, the less I buy that she couldn't eat what he prepared. Grilled vs. baked? Give me a break.

Well Tiger, please educate us on the difference between the white meat with no skin off a piece of chicken done on a grill, and the same piece baked in an oven? Also, what is the difference between boiled potatoes that have been mixed with mayonaise, and the same mixed with some butter and milk? Not like she had to eat the potato if milk or butter bothered her.

Each is essentially chicken meat and potato.

Well, I am not my cancer, I try to be just me. It doesn't always work out that way. I have Pappillary Thyroid Carcinoma (Cancer) that was spread to my lungs, I had to have a unusually high dose of I 131 radiotherapy, and after that it took everything I had and five years to walk again. I am very stubborn and can be a brat. I apologized to him again, and he is still mad at me.

He actually does have ADD.. And I told him to only boil some potatoes and relax I would be back in about an hour. I really hurt his feelings.

He is 46 and I am 45 years old.

He claims he didn't hear me.. He does that alot. I don't know sometimes if he does it to be mean or not. This time he really wanted to do something nice, and i killed the mood.

Hey Chai2. Actually We have only dated 7 years, but he was in my wedding, and I was in his..lol. Its a crazy story. Anyway, I have a youtube channel, weightloss cancer channel. I have actually been through a lot. I don't really want this petty business known, but I wouldn't mind giving you my username in a personal message, and you can verify my cancer and weighloss journey. I have lived one hell of a life! I have about ten years documented.

Yes, one can have cancer of the thyroid and ALOT of other conditions pop up. (I am actually a nice person, just having a hard day, it went horrible.) .....I can't actually eat the chicken, it bothers my pouch as most meats do. I have to get my proteins in other ways. I just wanted to basically smell the chicken, lick the bbq sauce off it, and maybe eat the outside crunchy smokey char marks. I was just craving bbq chick. When i go though that much effort, I want what i want... But... He knew I was in pain, and tried to do something sweet. I took it wrong and got a bit irritated.I can't eat the potato salad either. I pick out the eggs, eat the celery, lick the mayo and mustard off the spoon, and possibly eat one cube of potato... sighs.. You guys are so skeptical..lol. I guess thats good? Mash potatoes make me sick. I can't stand that on my tummy. the baked chicken send me spinning and i am instantly sick. Why? who knows. I am basically a controlled anorexic, I have no choice. But hey am here and would be dead if I didn't hv the surgery. Anyway, I sent you my username. Please verify with these folks I am who I say I am so we can get past all this skeptical thinking. You can see my surgery scars even on there.

Ok you two, that i mentioned my youtube channel. Am I say who I am? See the scars from my thryoid surgery, and my weightloss surgery? I lost 113 pounds... I have no need to be dishonest. I love this forum, and wouldn't mind sticking around to get all of my ideas and thoughts picked apart so I can think beyond my stubborness.

The difference is my pouch is very touchy, I know what I can eat and how to eat it right down to pealing off the skin on the grapes before I eat them. I can eat only two grapes or I would be sick for hours. I know my body and everyone is different. I prefer to do most of the cooking, so I don't upset anyone when I can't eat it.

I had Gastric Bypass Surgery, WLS... I call it weight loss surgery because it doesn't really matter which one I had. Most people have a hard time eating certain things when they have this surgery. I have sent you the link to my weightloss surgery channel. I hope that clears your skepticism. This man is driving me crazy and I love him. I am 45, and tired of playing games. I am so unsure about so many things. Why not ask a stranger? Its good to get different viewpoints out of my element. I hope that in my future posts you will cut me a little slack, because my next few post are absolutely mindblowing. When I feel comfortable enough here I may post them, or just find another site like this to get my words out. I do better when I chew things up and ponder before I make decisions, especially when I feel I might be in the wrong. Thank you.