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Confusing rejection

 
 
Freyr
 
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2016 11:51 am
Before i start, i would like to highlight that she is from Albania (17 close to 18y) and i'm not going to dive into details in respect of her privacy. I am not Albanian by the way (21y), we met during our holidays on a neutral country and we were communicating in English. Her father is the classic traditional Albanian father type that won't let his daughters mess around with anyone ,unless that anyone is planning something serious with her. So this answer came after i sent her a letter(parents won't let her bring her phone along,) in which among other things i told her how i feel , which resulted on her. answering with a letter too... The letter was the only way of speaking privately for the first time, since me and her alone would alert many things (Albanian culture). My letter(which was rich, a two-sided A4 with calligraphy) was delivered to her after i had left, secretly by a trusted person, on which it had my number and my e-mail. . So the weird thing was that she responded to it with a letter too, since she only told me she doesn't feel the same way. I mean why bother and just don't message me by phone with a classic "i don't see you the same way". Here is her response (her english is not my level) :

"I read the letter and i'm shocked. I really didn't expect this. I think that you have misunderstanded the things and our friendship. And i'm really sorry about that. I hadn't and i can't see you with another eyes, i only can see you like a friend and you should do the same. When a person likes another person he can't see the others around. You understand what i'm saying. Maybe i'm not in a relationship , but this doesn't mean that i haven't a guy im my heart, whose normally loves me too. So please, if we meet one day, we will meet like friends. OK! Is not the first time that guys, that i consider friend, look the friendship in another way. I don't want you, to be like them... Smile OK! "

Knowing what i said on my letter (which is pretty big and non sense to quote it) , her response in fact SHOCKED ME. I simply told her how i felt from the first day i saw her, on which there wasn't any friendship formed yet, so there wasn't something to MISUNDERSTAND from my part. My letter was a short of a compliment to her appereance, and expressing my desire to keep in touch with her by our phones. Along with best wishes in her life till we meet again. And of course i respect our friendship. Now the part where she says she can't see me romantically nor did she ever saw me that way because she can't see the others around because of her "not in relationship maybe" situation is really confusing to me. I mean you love someone and he loves you too, what is that if not an established relationship? And does it mean that if she wasn't commited to that someone, she would see me from another perspective? Her English is so confusing... Plus the fact that she uses OK! with exclamation mark, what on earth does this mean? And finally, i think that she has the idea that it is HER fault that i simply fell in love with her, that she did something wrong during these days that made me look our friendship romantically. While in fact my letter is telling her that it's ME not HER! All in all, i would like if someone (preferably from Albania) could read between the lines of her letter, because i certainly can't. Is she rejecting me because of her "maybe not relationship but something " thing or is there more to it? She could have game me her number nevertheless as a friend, but she didn't even mention about it...
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,299 • Replies: 5

 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2016 02:29 pm
I think that she is saying she is in a relationship (maybe, she's not sure) so you and her can only be friends.

She is halting any further action from you that would make you think she can start something with you.

She does not want to encourage anything with you.

So - move on to another gal. This one is not interested.

PS - OK! just means for you to "understand" or "that's it."



Freyr
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2016 03:29 pm
@PUNKEY,
The thing is, all of this could have been said in 2-3 lines by an SMS. She overexplains her reasons and i don't know why... "So please, if we meet we will met like friends". Why "please" . I'ts not like im gonna kiss her or something for God's sake! I just told her how i feel and thats on her from now. Of course i consider her a friend no matter what :S
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2016 05:15 pm
@Freyr,
So she wrote a letter.

Big deal.

She said no. That's all that matters; the medium is less important than the message in this case.
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contrex
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Sep, 2016 11:12 am
Freyr, I can see why she wrote you that letter.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Thu 1 Sep, 2016 12:58 pm
@Freyr,
You wrote her a letter, so she wrote one back. Not sure why you are confused about that. Maybe she over-explained because she was trying not to hurt your feelings. People tend to do that when they are trying not to hurt someone's feelings.

Bottom line, she does not see you in the same way that you see her.

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