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Sat 27 Aug, 2016 03:06 am
Me and my husband have been split 2 years, we both ended up with people we went to school with, I split with my "boyfriend" 2 weeks ago but he's still with his "girlfriend" we have a son together, we saw each other yesterday for the first time alone with our son in about a year and a half, we ended up talking and as the day went on HE got more touchy feely.... It started with a cuddle, then he pulled me to sit on his lap, then we ended up cuddling on the sofa and when standing up holding each other, that sort of thing, then when our son was playing he grabbed me and kissed me... He started everything, I never instigated I wanted to start anything, I just wanted him to know that I felt like I wanted my family back together, we were 18 when we married and had our son, and we split up over silly things which i majorly regret, he was first to say he missed it, but he also said, he would be happy being back as a family but he's also happy with his girlfriend, neither of us want her hurt and we both stated this yesterday as she is a really lovely girl, but we ended up having sex, again he was the first to start it and was the one who said can we? I said we should stop because it's him who's going to go home feeling guilty and he said and? You're my wife, she'll never know, so we did it... My question is, am I actually having an affair with my own husband and am I in the wrong? 😞 I feel so crap because of it but I don't feel like I did any wrong? We are still married and by law actually still together, we have yet to even discuss divorce and that's normally the first thing for people to do! I'm so confused and desperately need to talk to him about it but next time we see each other his girlfriend will be there 😩 HELP?!?!
I think you need to be sure he isn't trying to have his cake and eat it.
@contrex,
We spoke about everything, us getting back together the lot, but I live 110miles away which for him is a major in leaving her, he won't have anywhere to go if he does unless I move back, which is on the cards due to personal things at home where I live, I'm just worried about exactly what you said
@Confusedandneedhelp,
I personally would be too worried about STDs to engage in a relationship without testing first and a commitment.
He is not your husband if he is diddling around no matter what the piece of paper says.
@Confusedandneedhelp,
You wouldn't be the first couple to get your last licks in, perhaps semi-literally.
Sorry for the vulgarity.
Bottom line, the whole thing is exceptionally convenient for him. He doesn't have to be around to really raise your child or do anything for you. And he gets kiss or perhaps more privileges from you.
If I were you, I would tell Romeo to cut it out unless he wanted to play house again, and then make sure he did so. Right now, it's just a bit of fun between watching your kid.
@TheCobbler,
He's been with the same girl since we split (they got together within a month of us splitting) me on the other hand I didn't get with my ex until a year after... The girl he's with was a virgin before they got together, I was tested while with my ex and after him too and all clear so if I do have anything now it's more than likely my husband as I've only slept with him and my ex...
@jespah,
I've told him that already.... I'm not willing to or am I going to accept that he would be living 2 lives, one with her and one with me and his child, he does help me a lot with my boy and is a fantastic dad that I cannot fault him for (sex didn't happen while our boy was around, he was asleep)
Thanks for your reply x
@Confusedandneedhelp,
** EDIT **
We haven't been near each other sexually or emotionally since we split.
You are asking the wrong question.
No, you aren't having an "affair" with your legal husband.
But HE is cheating on your marriage vows and using you between his affair and your separation.
Why do you put up with this? Either divorce or insist that he be your faithful husband. He's using both of you women.
@Confusedandneedhelp,
I don't envy your position in this. I hope it works out for you.
He cannot be trusted he has demonstrated that. I would be worried he is not diddling around with other woman too.
Get another test for chlamydia if you have not been vaccinated. A slew of tests actually.
You have had your fun, now back off and see if he responds in an appropriate manner.
If you do not mind this kind of open relationship and I would say it is wide open until you know for sure... the choice is yours.
My gut feeling is he is not trustworthy at all.
In this day and age people can be born with AIDS, even virgins.
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