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Help on first date!

 
 
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 07:15 am
I'm a 17 year old guy who is going on his first date in about 2 weeks from now on, i'm going out with a girl i really like and i've known her for about a year now, i'm 99% sure she likes me aswell. I'm going to the movies with her but i'm not sure if i should ask her before or after the movies to be my girlfriend.
And If i ask her to be my girlfriend and she says yes, should i instantly kiss her? Or shouldn't i ask her to be my girlfriend on the first date? What should i do. Anybody that has tips, feel free to post them.
 
jespah
 
  6  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 07:19 am
@magnetron12,
Don't ask her to be your girlfriend at all on a first date.

Instead, have fun. Laugh. Talk. Hold hands if the mood so strikes you. Kiss if it feels right.

Save the serious "I hope you'll be my girlfriend" stuff for at least date #3. Have some casual times in your life and you'll both be a lot happier if you don't jump immediately into exclusivity.
magnetron12
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 07:38 am
@jespah,
Should that be a simple kiss on the cheek? or...
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 07:43 am
@magnetron12,
Yes. It's a progression. Of course it can all go out of order - and God knows I don't want you overthinking this any more than you are. You sound really sweet. But it's usually - hand holding to kiss on cheek to peck on lips to French kiss. Which does not all have to happen on the same day or in the same order. Just, consider what both of your comfort levels are.
magnetron12
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 08:34 am
@jespah,
Thanks haha, another question though.
I've been talking with her for over a year almost and i basically know everything from her, what do we talk about on the date than?
contrex
 
  4  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 08:52 am
@magnetron12,
magnetron12 wrote:

Thanks haha, another question though.
I've been talking with her for over a year almost and i basically know everything from her, what do we talk about on the date than?

Talk about whatever. The weather. What's in the news. Your next pair of shoes. a film you saw recently. The subjects covered are not the important thing.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 08:55 am
@magnetron12,
Did you like the movie? Do you think they'll make a sequel? Oh my gosh, I really hated the elf character! What did you think of the mystery? Man, they really got the Viking character right. And I loved the scene with the vampires and the spaceship. How about you?

PS Now I kinda want to see this film. Wink

Of course it doesn't all have to be about the movie, but that's a big part of why a movie is pretty classic first date fodder. It's something to talk about!

PPS I went on a first date oh my gosh a good 30+ years ago and we saw Hitchcock's Rear Window. It was a revival; the film was already a good 30 or so years old by then. It was a great movie to talk about. BTW, he and I didn't marry or anything. But it was a good film to discuss.
magnetron12
 
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Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 10:03 am
@jespah,
Ah i see..., any subjects that i specifically should NOT talk about?
ossobucotemp
 
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Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 11:25 am
@jespah,
I agree fully with Jespah.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Aug, 2016 12:11 pm
@magnetron12,
magnetron12 wrote:
Ah i see..., any subjects that i specifically should NOT talk about?

Are you serious? Just the usual things that common sense should warn you against.


magnetron12
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Aug, 2016 05:44 am
@contrex,
Another stupid question, should i start holding her hand in the movies instantly? Or should i ask...
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 21 Aug, 2016 05:57 am
@magnetron12,
Yep, that's a stupid question.

Look, dates and people aren't one-size-fits-all. You are going to make occasional errors in life. That is the nature of human existence.

If you screw this up, the world will not collapse into itself. If you hold her hand too early, or too late, she will not slap you, call you names, and post unflattering things about you online.

If you are absolutely this committed to knowing how your relationship is going to turn out before it even necessarily starts, then I hope you have seen every single spoiler for the movie you're about to go to and are going to have a wonderful safe time utterly devoid of any surprises the film might have in store for you.

Because you are behaving the exact same way.

Take chances in life. Not foolish ones. Don't play with your very existence. But holding someone's hand a minute into a date or ten minutes or thirty or near the end or whatever, and chancing that one of those might not be oh so absolutely perfect perfection is not like playing Russian Roulette.

Relax and enjoy yourself. Please.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Aug, 2016 09:14 am
@magnetron12,
magnetron12 wrote:

I've been talking with her for over a year almost and i basically know everything from her, what do we talk about on the date than?


what kinds of things do you talk about when you're not on a date? what have you discovered interests her? what interests do you know you share?
0 Replies
 
 

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