My relationship is falling apart and I don't know what to do

My situation requires quite a bit of background exposition.

First of all, I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (20F) for just over three years. August 3rd was our anniversary. This girl is the love of my life, my best friend, and the person I want to marry. We were basically attached at the hip for those first 2 and a half years, and any problems we had we were able to overcome.

Her parents moved to another city (Napa) about 3 hours away when she started her first year of college, so she was living in the dorms, which was miserable for her. After some thinking, we both decided it would be best for her happiness to go pursue her family in Napa. My plan was to move out there with her summer of 2017 when I was able to transfer my 2 year to a 4 year college (Yes, I am behind.) but after some time, my stubborn self decided that I didn't want her parents to have to help support us living in such an expensive place, and so I wasn't completely ecstatic with the idea, but it was still the plan going forward.

She decided that 2017 summer was way too far away, so she told me that she would come back to my city and we would look for a place together to move out by January of 2017, instead of having to wait an entire year. We found a nice little townhouse and decided it was perfect for us... or so I thought. Later on, she told me that she just didn't like the idea of downgrading back to somewhere like Fresno (where I live, and for good reason; Napa is significantly nicer than here). She was still going through with it, but she wouldn't be happy.

Fast forward to about a month ago, a week before our 3 year anniversary. I had planned a week off from work as vacation time to go up to Napa to spend with her. During this week, she told me that she was interested in pursuing an open relationship for those last 6 months before we were living together. She said that she never got to experience college life or other people (I was her first everything), saying things like, "I want to be a better kisser for you" or "I never got to have sex with other people and sometimes I wonder what it is like". Keep in mind, this girl is the most loyal person I have ever been with. Every one of my significant exes has cheated on me, but she has been fiercely faithful.

Before continuing, it also makes sense to explain who she is. This is the type of girl who is a 10/10 could be a model, and has a huge following on social media. As such, she gets hundreds of messages a day by people that want her attention. Again, she has been fiercely loyal, and I have had nothing to worry about. The girl needs attention though. She is physically and emotionally demanding, and craves the feelings that come with all of that. The distance started to prevent me from being able to do that.

Back to the open relationship; I wasn't thrilled with the idea at all. I love this girl to death, and imagining someone else with her shakes me to my core. I couldn't imagine ever being with someone other than her at this point in my life, and the fact that she wanted that really threw me off. I had a feeling that she had someone in mind, and she confirmed that there was this guy (We'll call him 'D') who she met in one of her classes, and she was interested in being able to hang out at his house without me infringing.

I was destroyed by this. When I pushed further, she even told me he looks like me. She also made it specifically known that he didn't have social media. (this is important later) After this, she went into a huge escapade about how she is 19 years old, doesn't like the idea of being tied down by a long distance relationship in college, still loves me and cares for me but it isn't the same love she once had, how she has had eyes for other people and she isn't sure what she wants to do with her life or where she wants to live. This was a day before I left for my week-long trip up to her house to celebrate our 3 years.

I was so torn by this. I love this girl to death, and I hate that she felt that I wasn't being decisive enough and choosing Fresno over her (even though it wasn't that, it was my fear of being financially broken from a move I couldn't afford). We juggled with the idea of me coming up to celebrate as her friend and decided that I would go up as her lover, and we would talk everything out when I got there.

I got there, we sat on the floor and she told me, "I've thought things through, and I want to experience new things. I want to get drunk for the first time, I want to explore this new city, I want to do all of these things, and I want you to be there with me". Okay, excellent. I can make that happen, I can be here as soon as I can be here. The week was going okay, I slept at night feeling a pit in my stomach knowing that the girl laying in my arms wasn't in love with me like she used to be, but I sucked it up because I love her. The last day of my vacation, we fought about something stupid (ordering dessert) and I drove us from San Jose to Napa in silence, until we made up in the car and we were fine when we got back to the house. I leave Napa and the goodbye doesn't feel loving.

Fast forward a week after our anniversary, I'm back in Fresno. Every single day that we are texting or talking, it doesn't feel right. Something is so off. I pull a jerk move and log into her social media to see what is going on. Every day for the past month, she has been looking at "D's" Facebook profile. She thinks about this other guy every, single, day. I confronted her about her, and we fought for a solid week. I haven't been able to sleep. I asked her for the entire truth about how she feels and what is going on, and she told me something like this:

"I AM trying to find myself, and part of that is figuring out who I want to be with. It seemed obvious that was you, but after 6 months, we've drifted so much that it's hard to imagine that. Yeah I love you, yes I care, yes I want to be with you, but I don't think it's what is best. I want to meet new people. You live far. The fighting is too much. The sex is hard, there's so much guilt and sadness. I feel like you deserve better, I wish you didn't love me as much as you do. I never even thought you loved me this much. Maybe if it were clearer from the start, we wouldn't have drifted."

Holy ****, that destroyed me. I have been replaced and I didn't see it coming at all. I don't know what to do. We still talk every day, and according to her we aren't broken up. She tells me that she is still figuring things out, and she doesn't know what she wants to do. I'm holding on by the tips of my fingers just trying to get a shred of love back. I told her I would move to Napa in January, I will do anything for this girl.

Last night, she told me she was going to hang out with her friends, so she would be slow at replying. That was fine.. except she drove for 50 minutes. There isn't a starbucks in Napa that is 50 minutes away from anywhere in the city... but Fairfield is 50 minutes away, and that is where "D" lives. I'm scrolling through my social media, and I see that she adds "D" as a friend. She is still looking this guy up every day. I ask her about it, and she doesn't reply for another 6 hours. I feel in my heart that she cheated on me, but I don't know if that is really something she would do. I mean hell, 20 minutes before she stopped replying, I told her, "If you're going to be with another person, please just leave me and be done with it; it means that you have given up on me, and I will try to live with that" but she swears that she was just hanging out with her friends, and me freaking out accusing her of being with "D" made her ignore her phone while she was with her friends.

She tells me she wants space, and for me to stop being emotional and to give her space, but she texts me every day. I don't know what words to choose, but I haven't given up hope on this girl. I have a strong relationship with her entire family, and she means everything to me. I was going to marry her in December. I am so torn up about this whole thing. On the one hand, I want her to be so happy and pursue her dreams. On the other, I want to be a part of that dream and destination, and not just another stop in the journey.

I am not a confident person. She was my rock and made me feel so loved. I am skinny for my age, I have only one friend at home, I am quite introverted, but this girl brings out the best in me. Before all of this, she truly was a wonderful girlfriend and I don't want this to paint her like some kind of trustless person. She was head over heels in love with me when she lived here, and I felt like it lasted for some of the distance. I just don't know when she stopped loving me.

I need true help. I spend my days going to work and school like a zombie, any free time I have is spent pacing around trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do. I spend my nights staring at my wall wondering if she was with him, if she wore her best, if she had any sliver of a thought of me while she was with him. At this point, she is STILL with me, and told me that she loves me (just not the same as before) and can't imagine not talking to me. She told me to give her space and let think, and I am barely hanging on. I don't love life anymore. I can't stand my life right now.

Lack of confidence, bugging your girlfriend, having no ambition (aka not moving out with her sooner) and all that is a huge turn off to women, I'm well aware. I want to let her be her own person and do her own thing, but at the same time it sounds like she is still trying to figure out what to do with me, and I am holding on hoping that she will pick me, or at the very least go off and do her thing, and maybe come back to me. I want to marry this girl.

I know it sounds stupid for a 22 year old guy to feel this strongly about a 20 year old girl. I am not the type of person that can date easily. I don't drink, I don't go out much unless it's with her, and again I can't imagine myself with anyone with her. I would compare every single person to this 10/10 perfect image of what a woman should be.

I have nothing where I live. My parents are moving across the country, and I have literally one friend. I don't like this city. I've decided to grind out my education as hard as I can and move to northern California.. with or without her, I suppose. I'm just trying to show her that I can be someone she can love again, because it seems like she wants to but at the same time she doesn't want to be with me and wants to be with other people.. but she won't leave me, so I don't know what the hell is going on.

Someone please help me.

EDIT: When I told her I would move there as soon as possible, she told me it wasn't a good idea because I'm not financially ready and her parents would be uncomfortable with supporting us if they knew she wasn't comfortable in the relationship.