Neverending Rap Battle

If polished doesn't respond soon sure

But if I could get some advice i've been trying to write some songs and stuff but like halfway through a verse I struggle with being clever and still staying on topic any tips?

Time for bed yet?

I hope your shitty hip hop life hits a stint
I hope your mom dedicates her life to wildlife
And gets mald by chimps
And lives
I hope her dad goes 20 years sober than goes on a binge
Swerves his car over a bridge
What you think about that?
I hope your brothers serves his time in over in the east
Gets shot and killed by diaper heads in Iraq
Anyways, we'll be sittin' at the table eatin' Capn Crunch
Two white kids, one on one? Yeah we'll be gettin' bullied at lunch
How many time you gone platinum, chump?
I'll be there before you Mac, I'll definatley **** you up
I signed with Quiet Storm Inc. stupid ************
Look it up
Save it GJay, I'll get his adress and knock him the **** out
Talk about beatin' him to the punch

Anyways, I've replied tons of times to you slob
Must not of wanted to battle me
I get it you're a 25 year old broke dumbass with no job
I don't have no small man syndrome
6 foot what point you don't get? Put me in prison
I'm from a place where my parents and friends saw me as I rose
I "risen"
You're from a place where you shoot coke with suicidal plans and rock musicians
I ain't loosening this battle up with freestyle ****
You're career has taken a sharp turn and hit the gutter
You're about as believable as Doogie Houser's character from How I Met Your Mother!

Okay! In all seriousness on here. Professor is a good freestyle battler. I give him that!
So can someone please answer this question? Does anyone know anywhere around your area if there's a big time studio? Whitmofo you live in NY, you should.
But I'm tryin' to take on producing music. I'm in my SR year in HS. I'm all ready for reality after HS.

yea absolutely

relax on trying to be clever , focus on what ur trying to say 1st an foremost

sometimes I write on a second piece of paper or at the top of the paper
, a web of what i want the story to be about ,

n when i feel like im going off track i just look at that an see where i wanted to go with it

a good trick is make ur chorus say what you want the rest of the song to be about

and after each verse read ur chorus

im sure your full of great idea's clever an wise , that will come out on its own

another thing i do sometimes , i write a story b4 i write the rap an then i just turn the story into a rhyme .

i usually do something like this as an example

setting- 21st century , united states of america during the 2nd world war

so i have a place where its happeneing an a timeline

then i make my charachters - a tip for this is using real people so u dont have to think of all the extra details to explain them

then i choose the plot- people dodging the draft

n the way to be clever is be original tweak it a lil

good example for that is when i go

once upon a rhyme , instead of once upon a time

jus lil things like that make a big difference in peoples eyes

an the best thing i can tell you is rap what you know , a situation u went through , ur perception on things or just something you know really well , like iunno i play bball so and 1 , u know what i mean ...

I think barneys charachter is very believeable bambino lol u don't ???

I'm only 14 so idk that much but my cousin owns a decent sized studio I can ask him if he knows anything?

Yeah I get it I think my problem is I don't spend enough time on the song I try to go one and done which only works like 5% of the time

It's normally very easy for me to write about life experiences
(ex. Girls, family issues, people who bug me, etc...)

I never thought of doin it in that way storys rough drafts I guess instead of treating it like a instant thing I need to treat it like an essay that needs steps to be completed

Thanks for the advice this is really gonna help me out

He's gay. Lol

Check out this studio http://www.skystudnyc.com/ idk what exactlly your looking for but I'm sure u can find it in NYC cuz everything is in NYC

i still think he did a wicked job in harold an kumar , gay or not lol

Actually I don't think that studio does hip hop here's a better one http://www.jamboxstudio.com/

livin it , walkin it talkin hip hoppin it
at the top why im droppin it
ya'll copycat artists coppin it
so obnoxious it's making me nausis ,
have u behind god son like nas is
run around gotham , webslinging , from the metropolis ,
to the optimus rhyme ,
ressurecting necroplis
to drop in this line
chin checking an droppin his spine
what a Head
trying to make that gutter bread
but you suck , no butta to butter ya bread
talk about ya lable , if you tell me to look it up
it means it aint ****
prof got no platinum , its atamantium
champion
thoughts for the penny sum
u loose ya sensory after a century im here for milleniums
russian roulette any gun, u wanna take a shot at it
u a crack rock addict
i got a rap rock habit
don't talk average to a savage you aint have it
had it
or lost it
prof running this human race
u still running diagnostics
shatter ya coccyx
with anti matter an hip hop hits
can I shatter bambs lip an optics
bambino wrapped in the back a stolen alcamino
soak um in gasoline clothes , throw um a pipe n a lighter let the feen go
thought he'd learnt
when u mess with ya devils u goin get burnt
nobody likes a jerk
leave ya soul bloody proff flow cause mic's ta burst
hip hop in the hemoglob trying to fight the thirst
bloodlust to be first
gotta bust a beat 1st
gotta dust my sneakers
then crush the speakers
n tell u the truth , reason ur in the booth
ur just a feature

I love you dad (freestyle) 

It hurts me cuz I can tell somethings wrong 
Emotional problems the size of king kong
Feeling like u don't belong  
Ur life written down in the lyrics of a song
I've shed tears for u but u don't seem like you care
Runnin off in the middle of the night leaving the family scared
Leaving with no warning  
I wake up every morning wondering if I'll be mourning 
For most kids seeing ur dad Is a sure thing 
But me it's a blessing I almost lost u twice 
And this time I'd rather not pay the price 
I'd cut a deal with the devil to keep u in my life
Cuz I wonder how long I'll have a father      
We know ur depressed but won't bother to see a doctor
I never thought I'd see the day when my own mind pierced my armour
This may seem like a shocker 
But while other kids were focused on the Doppler 
I was busy thinking about my father 
The thing is when life gets bad 
And people get you mad
And every moment of your life is sad 
U count on me cuz I love u dad   

How bout you become a battler, not a freestyler
I got this dude caged and caved in my medicine ball
Hold on tight, we're ready for lift off, stand tall
**** all that irrelavant **** you talk
I brought the evidence to the crash that this bitch is soft
Quit braggin' bout yourself bro
You got no label, no one assigned to you, go home
How many albums do you have?
See I ask him to just to embarass him
I seen ALL your videos
You say the "N" word, you pale in comparison
YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU'RE ONLY HAFLRICAN AMERICAN
Let us see how much you compre to Em let's equal
You doin' 90 on the freeway like some Stan sequal
Trust me this is no forum historic event
You all bore us to death, talkin' bout Human Race
Startin' to sound like Logic for god sake
Sue me
You ain't no true homie
Screamin' in your raps like your scared, pussy
Lookin' like your about 30 years old that's scares me
Congrats mothafucker
You're the first 30 year old up and comer
You still aren't considered a threat
You said you was cold as the air a while back
Still no one has caught wind of you yet!

You write some good lyrics. You get bullied in school? I read some of your other ****, seems like it, no offense at all. I don't/didn't only because I come from a good family background but just wonderin' dude, you could honestly go far with some lyrics as..

"And this time I'd rather not pay the price
I'd cut a deal with the devil to keep u in my life"

Sounds like you come from a deep place you know? In my school we have only 3 legit rappers who rap. Includin' me, a black guy, and a caucasion kid. It's funny none of us get bulllied or anything, might be different cause it's little school, wish you luck man.

"It's funny, none of us got bullied"
That's a good line, I'mma use that. Lol

Heres a kid from my school that raps... Don't really get along with him because he's into drugs, doens't neccisarly rap but he knows his ****

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Deraj/216771531695912

You do realize that it is the logic in your rap that makes it work for you?

Nah lol Im the big kid on the block I get along wit everyone I just have a lot of bad life experiences my dad nearly killed himself twice right in front of me my mom had a heart attack right in front of me so I just really appreciate what I have and don't wanna lose it cuz I was lucky enough to keep it

I preety much use music to express myself when I'm having a hard time I'll sit Down and write a verse about it like right now my dad has been goin through tough times lately not getting up for work, skipping work, sleeping all day, running off in the middle of the night, I know he's sad but he's not the kind to express himself like me but thankfully I have music to express

Rappers are preety rare in my school there's only 1 other kid who legit makes music a few other kids too who think there awesome but are really **** lol but I come from a preety musical family so it's in my genes I guess lol

Same here. Sorry to hear bout your dad, lucky you have music to express. I don't really have family problems. Girl problems though, definately. You have a good outlet though, no question.

I come from a family with some music. My dad is a singer songwriter, my bro as you know already I think, he's a rapper/host. That's it though, my other brothers live the simple life man.

Sittin' down and just writin' makes you feel powerful. Like you feel like you can be the best but then you look at the obstacles you have to overcome, it's a tough industry that's for sure. Buzzed hair, sweatpants, white t's the hype for me! Lol

Mhm.

Wait dude, I wasn't talkin' bout you throught the rest of the rap. That's all about him not you. That's the only part, from there on out it's about Prof, sorry if you were confused.