aiming to enrich my dating life, would need some guidance

After my divorce, I found myself single again in my mid-forties. I know exactly how you feel. I hate nightclubs and pubs. They allow men with a certain set of extroverted social skills to attract women leaving the rest of us drinking alone.

I do much better in social situations where I have a common interest with the women there... or a common thing to do. Let me give you two suggestions.

I have a lot of luck with Meetup.com groups... this is a website that gets you off the web. There are groups based on interests where people actually meet in real life. I speak Spanish and go to a Spanish meetup. Somehow being in a room where everyone's goal is to speak Spanish makes it really easy to get into a conversation with anyone. I met a woman there that I dated for several months, as well as several male and female friends that I kept. And I go to a hiking meetup... on a trail saying "Hi I am Max" to the person in front of me is pretty easy and there is a natural way to start a conversation.

I have had some luck with online dating. When you set up a meeting you are guaranteed that there will be someone there who is there to talk to you. You can start asking them questions about their life, find something in common and it isn't that difficult.

Of course there are many other places to find people with similar interests to you that aren't bars or nightclubs.

I agree to a certain extent, what I mean is thta yeah, it isn't easy at all, and some people will have advantage over others, thats how the world is. but avoiding it isnt going to help anyways, my point is I have to improve where am weak at instead of avoiding the issue