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I [20/f] asked out this guy [20/m] at work, got rejected (I think, now I'm not sure what to do next?

 
 
Reply Sat 25 Jun, 2016 06:30 pm
The guy I like from work sits right beside me (literally about 5 feet away). At first I really thought he liked me. I would catch him staring at me a lot. He would do things like follow me into a room when I went there to do some random task, without having any reason to be there himself. He would throw rubber bands at my leg. It was his idea to play multiplayer online board games on our computers when there wasn't much work to do (we work at the front desk so sometimes there is literally nothing for us to do when people don't come in). This is just an observation, I don't know if it's significant but I noticed that he always expected me to start the games (one person has to send a request to the other person on the multiplayer board game site through email). Sometimes he would ask me 'so have you just given up on playing? (I tend to lose a lot), kindof indicating that he wanted to play, but never actually sending me the link thing (through email). Sometimes he even flat out asked if I wanted to play, but he would tell me to 'set it up'.

We're actually both just summer students so there isn't really any restrictions for 'workplace dating' and such so I decided to just be brave, and one day I messaged him (on facebook) and asked if he was busy after work on a particular day. He replied (1 hr later) saying he 'might have hockey (he coaches some kind of team), but that he wasn't positive, what's up'. I said (2 hrs later) 'nothing, I was just wondering if you wanted to see a movie or something', to which he replied (2 1/2 hrs later) 'we do have hockey :/ sorry about that!'. and I was like (1 hr later) 'that's okay, thanks anyways.' Him: (1 hr later) 'See you on Monday!'.

I took this to be kindof a 'soft rejection' since he didn't exactly offer to reschedule for another day with me. As expected, the following week at work was a bit weird. I felt pretty sad and embarrassed so I pretty much ignored him unless he talked to me. He initiated a lot of conversations with me and kept calling me over to his desk to look at things (we did this before too, but not as much as on this week). Actually one day during this week, a guy friend of mine came by and talked to me for a couple of minutes, and after he left, this guy (who sits beside me), says 'you should ask him to a movie'. Then the week after that, things kindof went back to how they were. I felt better and less awkward about everything, so we resumed the same amount of conversation.

The thing is, I'm kindof in this weird position now. I was originally supposed to work on this one project in a different office. My employer had to go away for a while, so when I was hired they put me at the front desk of the office I am currently in just to help out at the front desk until my employer returned and I could work on my original project. Well, my employer is back now, and he told me it would be convenient for him if I was to stay in the office I am in now. But since I am going to be working on my own project instead of helping out with the front desk, I have the option of staying at front desk (next to this guy) or moving to a desk elsewhere in the same office (away from the guy, but also nestled away in the back).

The thing is, I still really like the guy a lot. And he is really nice to me, which is great, but gives me false hope. Also he keeps asking me (he knows of my work situation) when I'm getting my project, if I'm going to be still at the same office, etc. a lot. I'm not sure what to make of that. I don't really have a preference for the desk I work at, but since I still like him, I was thinking I should move to the other desk now that I have the chance so I can snub my lingering feelings. If I stay, we have a nice friendship but I think I'll always hold onto this 'false hope' feeling. What should I do?

tldr; I asked out this guy at work, was rejected (I think), still have lingering feelings and was thinking of moving desks while I have the chance to get rid of 'false hope'
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sat 25 Jun, 2016 06:38 pm
@hellogoodbye363,
Spend time with other people in the office.
hellogoodbye363
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Jun, 2016 06:43 pm
@jespah,
I do, I have a pretty good relationship with almost everyone there.

But should I move desks or not?
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 25 Jun, 2016 06:47 pm
@hellogoodbye363,
If you can, and you feel it will help you, then go for it. This is one of the bigger problems with office crushes. You're kinda stuck with someone.

I would also advise you, seriously, even though you are both summer employees, that doesn't necessarily mean it would have been open season on dating.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2016 07:16 am
How is it that you don't mention anything about this guy. Gay? Married? Available? Just being friendly? What do you know about him besides he like to play a game with a co-worker?

You asked him out. He said he was busy. He didn't suggest any other option for getting together. That ought to give you a clue. You are in the "friend zone"

Let him work to make anything more out of this. But if he doesn't act within a week consider him a lost cause. Apparently, the "spark" is not there for him.

0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Sun 26 Jun, 2016 10:07 am
@hellogoodbye363,
Quote:
But should I move desks or not?
Under the circumstances, Eliminate the guy from your decision making. Which place/project would you rather work on?
0 Replies
 
 

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