Is this unfair?

There is no right and wrong. If you think there is, and she does, then you're both too immature to have a grown up relationship. You both are free to do what you want with your bodies, and you are both free to say you don't like what the other person has done. I will add that they are her boobs, not just your fun toys, and she is going to have to live with them long after you are dust in her rearview mirror. Your hair will grow again.

I say each of you does their own thing and if you still want to be together, then that will happen.

This is all very superficial stuff we are talking about.

PS WHY did you shave your head (going bald and wanted to get an even look OR you want to look like an ex-biker?) WHY does she want a boob job (cause her friends have them, she's flat, she thinks women's worth is in the boobs?)

i agree, looks change over time and i think the same as your saying. my point was im not gonna not do something i want to just because she doesnt like it, when she will do something i dont like.. it sounds petty but that imbalance adds up quickly.

The reason for the cut is im a pro athlete and i have very thick hair. its very hot right now in my country and i usually go short as it keeps me that little bit cooler and i feel beter for it.

she said her desire for the boob job stems from a friend of hers from a while back making fun of her chest. she thinks shes not balanced.

She is though, all my freinds have said shes a stunner. she is a b cup and weighs a little under 9st, shes also 6 ft. i think its a very attractive look and she is far from out of proportion

Like I said - both of you do what you want, and see what happens.

(She IS paying for her own boob job, right?)

us doin what we wanted is exactly what i wanted and as you said, what happens will happen. However, if i object to the boob job im controlling and unsuportive, yet if i cut my hair she threatens to leave me . is this not a double standard?

she said she would although she does not have the money to do so and im defo not paying for something i dont like and is 100% not needed :'D

Your hair - your choice (and expense)

Her boobs - her choice (and expense)

Not sure what's complicated about that.

Get your head shaved if you still want to.

I did it when I turned 30 ( a long time ago) - figured it was the last time I could do it and not have people think I was in chemo.

Thats what i thought :'D. but apparently it merits leaving someone if they do
:'D

She does sound pretty silly to me.

at least my hair will grow back :p

exactly!

reversing surgical procedures isn't the same as growing your hair back out (if you decide to)

i will, i just like it short when its hot, as soon as the cold comes back so shall the head nest

Simply put, this is about control. Want to or not...aware of it or not...you're having a power struggle. Shaving your head is not radical. Changing your body permanently with breast augmentation (though beneficial for some through improved self-image), is permanent...and is a serious personal choice. the fact she is not funding it herself, it it requires you to fund it, SHOULD you DECIDE to vote no, you should be able to do so without repercussion. If she wants to have it done, she should fund it herself. If it is just cosmetic...(because of someone's insensitively with a joke), then she shouldn't be asking you to fund it. If it was due to a deformity or a serious issue, there'd be no doubt about what to do.

However, if one breast was decidedly different than the other, that would be a different issue. she has stated her reasons and they appear to be NOT about the non-uniformity.

This is a petty response when she says she'll break up with you if you shave your head. Not too mature..or perhaps that committed if that is her response.

we are extremely similar in moral and weve been togethjer for just short of a year now, shes introduced me to her daughter and her daughter asks for me before she does her own dad, shes spokje wanting babies in the future, marrige. and we were considering moving in together.

she is certainly not deformed.

the power struggle is very real with this one. she demandad i left a previous job as she worried about female attention (ive never cheated before so no reason to think i would, other than her previous bfs having done it to her). I also wasnt allowed fb for 6 months and was only allowed it back because she wanted it and i said if you can then so can i.

in regards to that, i didnt really use fb nor want to so i didnt mind doing it. Still, it annoyed me having that expected of me

In view of that last post,

Get out now.

Ive thought this a few times but im just a sucker for trying to fix things :p. Looks like ima get dumped for having no hair though so unlees i can playdoh it back it lookslike the dead is done :'D

whoa!

that doesn't sound like someone with good long-term relationship potential

sounds like she has a lot of control issues

I'd recommend getting out while you can without her getting pregnant accidentally on purpose


(are you sure you want to show her this thread? she's not going to like it)

She keeps a very small circle of friends and she very opninionated on other people and "slags" people off all the time. I honestly and whole heartedly think she needs to see views from outside of her sphere of control to really see what people think of it. Plus, this is annonymous so as much as its true. its not like anyone except me knows who she is. and ive been there for the last year so this isnt all new to me :'D

I do genuinly love the lass. Shes Perfect (I know vom) when were good. But i do feel like ive bent over enough for her and truth is im a bit sick of it. If it came back then fine but i feel like im being abused :'D

I would like to say im aware im far from perfect. ive said hurtful things and been inconsiderate at times. But i let her live her life. She goes out with pals (Which im not allowed to do unless shes invited). Stays at there places. goes where she wants when she wants.

Love sa sucker eh

..makes me think of the words mission control. You changed jobs to suit her???

You love her? You like being used as a carpet to walk on?

enormous red flag here

this is not someone to like, let alone love

you're describing emotional abuse