6
   

Just Confused, FWB? or Dating?

 
 
Reply Wed 22 Jun, 2016 12:19 pm
Me and this Girl met in our first week of college. (in late august) For about of week it was weird, I was throwing vibes and she was throwing them back. One night we were watching a movie in my room with friends and she slept in my bed with me and ever since we've been a thing. After that night it took a month until we actually started having sex. (Its June of the next year now) Im writing because she's been acting weird lately and i don't think she wants me anymore. From August to may, of the following year, we were hooking up and having sex constantly, every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Mostly because it was easier in school and she would be the one begging me to go to her room. I had football and work but what guy wouldn't want to have sex all day everyday. Soon enough we weren't using condoms and i felt like she really trusted me. we hung out every day and the sex slowed down but i just enjoyed being with her and she said that "I make her Happy". Well the problem is, is that i wanted a relationship and she didn't because she says all relationships turn bad. she just got out of a really bad relationship with her ex (Trust me I've read the text messages) which she dated since 8th grade till college. I keep telling her that i would never treat her like that and she says she knows but she still doesn't want a relationship. Since we've been hooking up she has got with 3 other guys. She only made out with 2 guys from our school but the 3rd guy was her ex and they fucked on winter break. The first question I have is "Do i have a right to be mad at her?" The two guys i accepted because they were in October and we were hooking up then but I hadn't told her that I wanted to be her boyfriend yet. But in November thru now, she is well aware that i want her to be my girlfriend but each time i bring it up she turns me away.(Probably once a month) and we get into the same fight, which ends up in me giving in, because she starts crying, and i don't want to hurt her like her EX did. Knowing that i wanted her, she went home on winter break and fucked her Ex. my house and her house are only like an hour away but she didn't call me to ****, she went to her ex. (She might have been drunk) but thats not an excuse to me. Me knowing this I confronted her about it and we went thru the same cycle except for this time i got drunk and told her that i loved her so that she would stop crying. I do love her regardless of how i told her but i didn't mean to tell her then. She told me that she loved me back and then the next day she told me the same thing. But on the last week of school i threw a party and she flipped out on me because my brother called her a hoe (in a playing matter). but she was drunk and they don't get along very well so she took it to heart and got pissed because i wouldn't "Stand up for her". Blasé, blasé. that night she blasted me on every type of social media and in public, slapped me a lot and tried to kick me in my nuts. (We were all drunk). I didn't hit back. We went through the same cycle again. that same night she texted me like 20 pics of her ******* her ex, and told me that we were done. I ate the bullet again and apologized publicly a billion times and she cried again and it last for 2 days until i went to her room and she told me that she would never forgive me for that. (But shouldn't i be the one upset?) 3 days after school ended (in may) I went to her house and we watched a movie and fucked. than a week later we spent the day together in her town and fucked but ever since then I've been practically begging to see her every week but she says she's "Too Busy" and keeps turning me down. Its been about a month since I've seen her and I my gut is telling me that she's ******* her EX again but my heart is saying "No way". we text every day and every now and then ill get a pic gift but she hasn't shown any interest in seeing me. The last time i was with her she told me that “I don't have to worry about her hooking up with anybody and that she loved me”. but she never said that we were dating, again, so how do i know if she's telling the truth.
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Wed 22 Jun, 2016 05:10 pm
@Flash123,
Ask her out. Not to screw. But for a real-live date. Dinner and a movie, that sort of happy stuff. And see what happens.

This is why I hate FWBs. Inevitably, somebody gets off the 'same page'.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Jun, 2016 09:32 am
You don't say ONE thing about this girl - except that you two screw every time you meet. AND she screws other guys, too.
Don't you get it?
PS hope you are using birth control. She will not know who the father is, you know.

Here's some song lyrics for you:

LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH
If you're down and confused
And you don't remember who you're talkin' to
Concentration slips away
'Cause your baby is so far away
Well there's a rose, in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can't be with the one you love, honey
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Don't be angry, don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' over good times you had
There's a girl, right next to you
And she's just waiting for something to do

0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Thu 23 Jun, 2016 10:28 am
@Flash123,
Either you like being the dependable backup boyfriend or you don't. You decide.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 23 Jun, 2016 10:46 am
@Flash123,
You're not her boyfriend. She has told you repeatedly she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

She is not in an exclusive sexual relationship with you.

You are not practicing safe sex.

Smarten up.
0 Replies
 
StAntonius
 
  1  
Reply Fri 24 Jun, 2016 02:20 pm
@Flash123,
"I keep telling her that i would never treat her like that and she says she knows but she still doesn't want a relationship. Since we've been hooking up she has got with 3 other guys. She only made out with 2 guys from our school but the 3rd guy was her ex and they fucked on winter break"

There are things that call for a man to prove to a woman that he can Stand His Ground, even if that means losing her. Some women want a man to prove to them that even though he doesn't want to lose them, he is not afraid to lose them, and he is fully ready to lose them.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Fri 24 Jun, 2016 05:10 pm
@StAntonius,
Some women don't.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 24 Jun, 2016 06:14 pm
@StAntonius,
and this woman has been quite clear she doesn't want him as a boyfriend

__

he needs to listen to her words
0 Replies
 
StAntonius
 
  1  
Reply Sat 25 Jun, 2016 01:15 am
@ossobuco,
As I already said too, so, Indeed, you are right.
0 Replies
 
Flash123
 
  1  
Reply Fri 1 Jul, 2016 08:29 am
Thanks for the advice. We don't speak anymore as of right now. I went to ask her for a actual date and she told me again that she wanted to be her own person so i said goodbye and we haven't spoken since.

Its Killing me to text and call her and try to fix things but I just can't keep putting my self through this.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 1 Jul, 2016 12:20 pm
@Flash123,
There is nothing to fix. I'm sorry.

As I wrote above, this is the issue with the FWB arrangement. It inevitably leads to someone getting off the page. Whether it's that they care more, or less, kinda doesn't matter. It just seems to happen and then the arrangement just seems to drop off the face of the earth.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Fri 1 Jul, 2016 12:39 pm
@Flash123,
There is nothing to fix.

She was honest with you about what she wanted and you couldn't stick with it.

The good thing is that you've learned that you're probably not a good person to try a FWB set-up.
0 Replies
 
 

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