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Does anyone else feel trapped?

 
 
Reply Fri 17 Jun, 2016 02:24 am
I'm happily engaged to the man of my dreams and we're planning our perfect day. In that part of my life I feel happy and fulfilled however feeling trapped in this horrible city we live in consumes most of my happiness. There is a rough population of 148,000 where we are living (fiancé has lived here all of his life compared to my 4 years here) it's such a dead-end, awful part of Scotland and I genuinely don't think I can bear being here much longer. I have always had a love affair with the states (namely San Francisco, which is my favourite place in the entire world) after visiting SF in March it just solidified my feelings towards "home" and where I feel like I want to be. However the logistics of such a long haul move seem nothing but a distant dream and I'm sure my significant other would scoff at the thought of leaving our families behind.
I just can't stay here for the rest of my life, this place has no opportunities, no jobs for anyone, I know that there is good and bad wherever you go but trust me, here is particularly bad.
I just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there that also felt trapped by their surroundings and how have you overcome it. By moving? By staying out and making the best of what you have? It probably doesn't help that I detest my job in financial services and while I would like to continue that line of work the actual workplace I'm in at the moment kills me.
My biggest fear it being stuck here.

I'm just looking for some encouraging words/stories.
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Jun, 2016 02:45 am
@mirrendemarco,
Have you spoken to him in this regard? This can be a deal breaker however it also concerns me re your job. Sounds as if the only thing you are happy about is your relationship. Nothing else. Are you truly happy there. Sounds like you are questioning alot.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 17 Jun, 2016 07:07 am
@mirrendemarco,
mirrendemarco wrote:

... I'm sure my significant other would scoff at the thought of leaving our families behind.
...


So you haven't told your fiancé this major part of your personality/hopes/dreams/feelings?

Good luck with that marriage, then.

Sorry, that was harsh. But seriously, if you don't talk now, you are going to be throwing things at each other in a year or five or ten. Cut the crap and talk about this.

Be prepared for it, potentially, to end. Or it might not. Or you might achieve a compromise.

My husband and I do not live where he grew up. He knew before we got engaged that I didn't want to stay there. We are very happy where we live, and neither of us wants to leave here. But we would not have gotten to this place, literally and figuratively, without communicating.
mirrendemarco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Jun, 2016 07:49 am
@jespah,
He knows and he has in the past been totally supportive of anything I've ever wanted to do, we're absolutely made for each other in every way. But something as big as this has only ever gone as far as conversation, I don't think he's ever thought about it as deeply as I have. My biggest concern with him his how close he is with his family (he has a much larger family base than I do and they see each other far more often than I see my family, many of whom live abroad) etc etc. It's a tough one, especially where someone's family is concerned.
0 Replies
 
mirrendemarco
 
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Reply Fri 17 Jun, 2016 07:50 am
@FOUND SOUL,
My jobs seems to be the biggest catalyst for a wish to move at the moment. The financial services industry will probably always be my life, but this particular job is dead end, no prospects sort of thing, so really I'm forcing myself to stay to pay the bills!
0 Replies
 
 

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