Thank you very much for replying.
Every time I think about these kind of things, I just cannot stop crying. When I talked about this with him last time, I couldn't explain well so he said "just say the word, don't sugar coat it." but I couldn't even say the word, and he said he's getting nervous because I obviously have concerns about him but wouldn't spill it.
Even if he answers yes, but he'll delete it, I'm sure I'll find another concern. I know I'm kinda annoying type of girl, needy, don't trust him, but I cannot control my feeling. I don't want to bother him, I don't want him to dislike me.
I will ask him next time we meet, I really hope he'll be honest with me.