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Should we remain friends or be more?

 
 
lovelyR
 
Reply Fri 3 Jun, 2016 12:40 am
I met this guy when i just turned 18. We dated for a couple of months and he moved to Arizona due to a college basketball scholarship. We stayed in touch. He was always expressing his love for me...asking me to come visit him in Arizona. He would visit me sometimes in new york. But as the years went by he got in legal trouble and went to jail numerous times for dui's, fights and a connection to robbery that he adamantly denies. I'm 30 now (its been 12 years and we've never had sex) I'm very confused on my feelings for him...i love him as a friend and my heart beats fast when i talk to him...but i think his feelings are deeper than mine and i am afraid it could end up bad between us if we pursue a relationship. He says He's coming to live in new york and wants to take things to the next level with me. He's going to do a trucking business and wants to get married and have kids with me. He's controlling and i like my freedom. What should i do? Stop talking to him or give it a chance?
 
PUNKEY
 
  3  
Reply Fri 3 Jun, 2016 04:29 am
You don't even KNOW this man! From what you describe, he's had impulse problems as a youth and it sounds like he has't outgrown that.

You really need to stop letting him run you and get control of the issue. Get to know him, but he really does sound like he's a loose canon . . .

Beware!

0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Fri 3 Jun, 2016 08:38 am
@lovelyR,
Quote:
I'm very confused on my feelings for him...i love him as a friend
This is all I needed to read. You love him as a friend. Just tell him that is how you want things to remain. Nothing wrong with that. Just because HE wants to take things to the next level does not mean you have to do so.

Quote:
wants to get married and have kids with me.
After nearly 12 years and having little contact and he is saying this? And you are asking us what we think? Really? I have a 29 year old son who you probably know only a tiny bit less about than this guy at this point. (In other words, you really do not know this guy well at all.) How about moving to SC and letting me hook you up to get married and have kids with him?

Quote:
He's controlling and i like my freedom.
Then why would you even consider a relationship with someone who is controlling? Especially when you consider his past is filled with an affinity for drinking too much and being violent? Do you seriously want to end up in the hospital or morgue when your freedom clashes with his controlling nature? (And I won't even talk about the robbery thing. I don't care what he claims, if he went to jail for it, he was more than likely involved. But why should he admit that to you when it might hamper his attempt to get into your pants, marry you and have kids.)

Quote:
What should i do? Stop talking to him or give it a chance?
Must we really tell you the answer? I'm not saying stop talking to him altogether. Be his friend if you want. Just stay well away from any romantic entanglements with him. I think you can find better prospects to hitch your wagon to.
0 Replies
 
carpetsindubai
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Jun, 2016 10:21 pm
Deep down inside you know what to do. So don't listen to others. Be Yourself!
0 Replies
 
sakexcel02
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Jul, 2016 02:43 am
@lovelyR,
wow it interesting
gclub
0 Replies
 
youjustdontknow
 
  1  
Reply Fri 29 Jul, 2016 05:53 pm
@lovelyR,
Don't even waste your time. He has been accused too many for crimes and offenses for him to be totally innocent. Once the control issue comes in play the abuse will come shortly after.He comes with lots of baggage, the question is are you willing to help him carry them?
0 Replies
 
 

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