I go to bed sad but yet he wakes up enraged?

There are good psychological (maybe even spiritual) reasons for it but the old adage "Don't let the sun go down on your anger" is a good one. Always resolve fights before going to sleep.

Doesn't help you now I know, but hope you get that hug before the sun goes down again.

Lead what an optimist

No ****, someone pointed out to me that there really is that advice in the bible.
Ephesians 4:26
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

I think there may be a gender component at play: women generally want resolution and men generally just want the argument to stop.

But I agree: don't go to sleep angry.

second rule If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy"

Sounds like a domineering prick to me. Start looking for something better. I went through 9 years of the same stuff you described. If he hasnt gotten to respect your feelings after 14 years, he never will. Time to move on.

He's not a mind reader or a therapist.

He's just not understanding you.

Couples counseling is in order.

When you told him that you went to bed feeling unloved, there's a real possibility that two things occurred in his mind:

- What he heard you say was 'It's all your fault'; and
- he thought 'what about me going to bed feeling unloved. How is this morning all about you?'

That said, your boyfriend has very poor conflict management skills, and anger problems.

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As to root causes - people lash out from fear, and your boyfriend has a fair amount of that.

For those who doubt - if there is nothing to fear, if a person has a full and strong belief in who they are, there is very little reason to get angry at other people, and the times such people get truly angry are few and far between. Anyone with a very high self esteem (rather than ego) will know what I'm talking about.

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Social scientists found they could predict with 90% accuracy which couples would be together in 10 years, based purely on how they fought.

It may be time for both of you to start learning how to navigate your way through conflict situations.

I imagine this is an on-going thing not a once off.

You both say "mean things to each other" about each other, putting each other down. Off course, if not resolved and you go to sleep and wake, it all comes back fresh in a person's mind.

I think the fact he asked you what was wrong suggests he had forgotten about it or was prepared to, or maybe even leave it in the back of his mind. When someone has to state they feel "unloved" and the other person gets angry, you have to ask yourself is there actually any real love there? Or are you co-existing. The more you both get angry and spit at each other hateful words, the more one of you will realise the reality of where you are both at.

14 years is a long time, both being 15 years of age, kids, just kids but whether you have been together for 14, I don't know.

Sounds as if in addition to being sensitive your needy and need constant love. Sounds as if he has anger issues and walks away from everything instead of facing it.

You both have issues to deal with as individual people as well as couples so yes, seek help, councelling. This isn't going to just go away.