The exgirlfriend is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't like it.

hi artisticcreations...and welcome! my magic 8 ball says that you are right and he is wrong.

Re: The exgirlfriend is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You've answered your own question.

Read that as if someone else had written it.

Good luck, artisticcreations.

Sometimes, in order to move forward, people have to visit again with their exes. They want to better understand what went wrong before, so that they CAN move forward.

Just a possibility.

By the way, while my first impulse is to agree with everyone else, it's not enough information to indicate that the relationship is doomed. Who knows, maybe the ex will help him realize that he's on the verge of repeating an old problem and he should mend his ways. Or maybe it's just purely he wanted to talk to a friend, and she's the only friend he could think of -- that's not too uncommon for men. They sometimes only really confide in their girlfriends, and if he wants to talk ABOUT a current girlfriend, there aren't any guy friends around to fit the bill.

Anyway, could be fine, could be bad, not enough info. Definitely talk to him about it.

Good luck.

he is now communicating with her through email behind my back


If this is true...an O'BILL red flag has been hoisted and trust is the issue to be dealt with.

I dunno Panzade, I could still see it going a few ways. Does he have to tell her everytime he writes anyone a email? What does "behind my back" mean if she knows about it and they've talked about it?

On rereading, you're right Soz. It is a little confusing. But when I said trust I meant artistic might be dealing with insecurity and trust issues.

What is he writing to her about? Is it just casual "how have you been?" Is it sexual? Is it about your relationship?

the exgirlfriend is back!!!
I have spent many long hours wondering why? I cannot except this going on because I cannot except that our relationship has taken turns in the wrong directions and need him to communicate with me not someone that he has dated and that relationship didn't work. I do not even have a clue of what they talk about. Why does someone have to find out about issues in hiding on their own? Why if someone loves you can he or she not communicate openly with you? Does it take to much time to explain the truth and in taking this risk by not telling you about her why would somone want to hide this if later the explanation could become unbelievable because of the hiding. Why would I trust him if it looks so conspicuious?

While most people cannot be friends with their ex's, some people can and are. Perhaps they are just friends. You can't expect him to give up his friends for you. On the other hand, why her?

Maybe he talks to her about you. Perhaps he feels like he can talk to her about your relationship problems (not the right thing to do but a possible reason). Or maybe he wants her back. Or maybe they just chat because it's nice to chat with someone. Or maybe...there are a million things that could be going on here.

How do you know he's doing it behind your back? Are you snooping? As a rule, I don't think that people should keep in close contact with their ex's (unless they have children and thus need to see and speak to each other frequently and in a civilized manner). It only causes problems and ex's are ex's for a reason. But there are the rare exceptions. So my advice....tell him what you've told us. We can't answer for him why he's doing this. So ask him. If he won't give you a straight answer or thinks your being silly, something else is probably going on that isn't so innocent and you should reconsider your relationship.

I second what Kristie wrote.

Maybe it is innocent and maybe it is not. But if you are not sure the only way to find out is to ask him. Maybe you are getting mad over nothing, or maybe your instincts are right. You won't know until you ask him.

Snooping usually takes us places we do not want to go but at least we find out what really is going on. It is to bad that we have to do these things but it does happen. It is the same as asking and finding out the wrong answer. I guess I have to figure out how to deal with the truth! In the end you really find out how really involved your lover is. I just am having a hard time figuring this one out.
My b/f has friends that were past lovers and I am not bothered by this. Why am I bothered by this one?

I have asked him about the communication that he is having with her and he told me that it is purely innocent. I just do not understand why it took so long for them to start this and why he couldn't tell me it was going on.

The best you can do is believe him when he says it is innocent. If you can't believe him, then get out because an untrusting relationship is worse than no relationship at all.

thank you kristie
I want to believe him but I cannot see through my selfishness by wanting him for myself and want the ex out of the picture. She was dismissed a few years ago and as far as I am concerned she needs to stay away. He told me alot about her and I think that she needs to focus on her life and leave him out of her picture!
Unreasonable?

Dismissed?

I guess my choice of words are crazy. I do not mean dismissed, I just know that he was unhappy in his relationship with her and has moved on. Why take the chance of bringing that unhappiness back in his life. Why not close the book of what not to do. Or maybe he should reopen this chapter and reread to make this relationship work smoothly. I feel as though he is being selfish, and not taking my feelings into consideration.
What would my girlfriend do if she knew that I was communicating with my ex?
Why was this question over looked in his mind?
ahhh men

'fraid so