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Is the comma after "Then" correct?

 
 
Reply Sat 28 May, 2016 03:54 am
Then, his telephone rang. "Pirates aboard!" stuttered an engineer.

(Adapted from "Sea of Danger", Reader's Digest)

Is the comma after "Then" correct? Thanks.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,417 • Replies: 7
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 May, 2016 04:01 am
@tanguatlay,
It's not incorrect--the use of commas is often a matter of style, and the trend in recent decades is to dispense with commas in most cases. If it is not necessary for clarity, most writers don't use them.

I have other problems with the sentence. On shipboard, the telephone from the engine room to the bridge is for general use, one wouldn't say his telephone--unless it were a cell phone, and where would a telephone cell be located at sea? Also, there is only one engineer in a ship's crew. One would say the engineer, or "someone from engineering." It's poor writing, without considering the comma.
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Setanta
 
  0  
Reply Sat 28 May, 2016 04:27 am
How is it that someone in the engine room knows that there are "pirates" aboard, before anyone on deck or on the bridge knows it? That's crap writing.
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nacredambition
 
  2  
Reply Sat 28 May, 2016 08:18 am
@tanguatlay,
Quote:
For nine uneventful hours in April 1998, the Petro Ranger had steamed north from
Singapore through the South China Sea, bound for Ho Chi Minh City. Now, shortly after'
midnight chief engineer Farooq heard screams and people running past his cabin door.
Then, his telephone rang. "Pirates aboard!" stuttered an engineer. Before the officer could
marshal his thoughts, a voice outside called, "Chief! Chief!


Perhaps it gave the writer pause for thought as to why he didn't have the engineer splutter rather than stutter?
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Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Sun 29 May, 2016 02:23 am
I would give a lot of money to see (rather than just hear) screams running past my door.
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Sun 29 May, 2016 03:29 am
These days an engineer, to many people,, is anyone who can pick up a wrench, including those my father (an engineer) would have called mechanics or fitters.
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Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 May, 2016 04:03 am
While that is certainly true, engineer is a rating on a ship, and is either considered an officer, or is rated according to union rules (it varies from one flag to another). The other engineering ratings refer to their occupation (more or less) or occupations which once existed, such as oiler, wiper, stoker, and so forth. All in all, this passage suggests that the author does not know squat about ships.
tanguatlay
 
  1  
Reply Mon 30 May, 2016 01:23 am
@Setanta,
Thanks to all of you.
0 Replies
 
 

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