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Should I Let An Old Promise Go?

 
 
anon115
 
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 05:22 am
Ok so I was born/raised until the age of 5 in a suburban town. During this time since as long ago as I can remember my best friend was a girl. She was lived in the house behind mine and we played all the time. We promised to get married when we grew up and even tried to kiss once but were embarrassed so we tired underwater with our eyes closed and failed.

Anyway long story short my mom died and my family moved. However right before we moved she painted a plank of wood and put her name, "I love you Smile", and her home phone number on it. She gave me the plank of wood and told me to keep our promise and to visit her.

Of course since I was a kid I didn't have a car or phone so I couldn't call or visit her. I had moved 3 states away and gave up trying to convince my father to drive 3 states for a kid to visit a friend. Years past I was going through my old stuff in storage and found the plank of wood hidden away. I am 22 years old now and am uncertain what to do about the plank.

Should I call the number? Would it even still work. Wouldn't it be weird and creepy for a grown man to call the parents of a girl he knew when he was 5? What do I even ask?

In all honesty this problem has really bugged me as I consider keeping promises to be extremely important to me which is why I never make them anymore. An I have no clue if she is still waiting for me or if she has moved on. I hope she moved on. Any advise?
 
TomTomBinks
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 05:26 am
@anon115,
Of course she has moved on and is not waiting for you. But I think you should call her. It's not creepy. Why not reconnect with a childhood friend?
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 06:19 am
@anon115,
I agree that it is not creepy to call and try to contact a good childhood friend. Just don't do so with any expectations. Heck, she was only 5 when you moved away. The question is not whether she has moved on, the question is whether or not she even remembers you.

So sure, try seeing if you can get in contact with her. Probably be difficult with only a 17 year old phone number. But you never know. Good luck.

anon115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 04:36 pm
@CoastalRat,
Well even though it still seems really creepy to me I really hate loose ends. Though I think your probably right and she very likely doesn't remember me as I myself only have about 4 or 5 memories of her. However if I do remember correctly she was 6 years old when I left as she was a few months to a year older than me.

I reverse phone searched online and the white pages say her parents still live in the house with that phone number guess I will have to call them and explain the situation. This is going to be stupid and embarrassing.
anon115
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 04:41 pm
@TomTomBinks,
My big problem with the plank isn't that I want to reconnect with old friends it is that I am the one holding the ball. She couldn't contact me so it falls on me to be the one to finish this. I fully expect her to have moved on, her not doing so is the worst case scenario I fear I could be responsible for.
I still think it is creepy but I need to finish this. I hope the number still works though as I tried calling once but no one picked up.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 05:46 pm
@anon115,
Don't have to worry about that promise to marry. Pretty much every kid does that.

Call if you want to catch up with a friend. Otherwise - don't.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 08:27 pm
@anon115,
It only seems creepy because you still have expectations - no rational adult holds a 5 year old kid to a promise from 20 years ago (or however long it was).

Nor is it a loose end - again, it was a 5 year olds promise 20 years ago - no rational adult holds a 5 year old kid to a promise from 20 years ago (or however long it was).

All that said, it doesn't at all seem creepy to me to reconnect with a childhood friend. But she of course may not remember you.

Quote:
I reverse phone searched online and the white pages say her parents still live in the house with that phone number guess I will have to call them and explain the situation. This is going to be stupid and embarrassing.
Keh?

"Hello, my name is ####. Is this %%%% who used to live next door to me at <address>"

"No, sorry"

"Ah okay. thank you for your time. I hope you have a good day."

Or

"Yes it is."

"Back then I was friends with your daughter, and I would like to get back in contact with her."
anon115
 
  0  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 09:42 pm
@vikorr,
Expectations? No I do not hold some sick fantasy of romance. I am not a romantic person nor do I find people who are very pleasant. I truly see no reason to call this girl except to confirm the promise is gone so I can be free of it.

The whole thing is obviously creepy because it is creepy. Anytime a adult male interacts with a stranger who is either younger than 18 or female it is creepy. Simply saying hello to a stranger is creepy. That is the world we live in. My own father having raised me and my brothers alone had to experience this as whenever he took us to public parks and playgrounds moms would call the police to report a man at a park for kids. I remember at least 2 occasions growing up I had to tell the cops that he was my dad. An that is even taking into account that he was a very presentable and not sketchy looking guy. Adult men are automatically assumed to be trouble so calling a stranger for info about their child is extremely creepy for a adult man to do.

I must admit I am disappointed in the "advice" I've found online about this as it seems most only want to express their opinion of how something that is obviously considered creepy isn't because they aren't viewing it in the right light. An how they think doing such a creepy act is worth it simply for the sake of making a friend when if I wanted a friend I could simply make one where I live now. What I wanted was advice as to how to proceed as I do not contact people often. Advice about the whitepages or the solution I ultimately came up with would have been what I was looking for.

An that solution is just to mail the plank back to the parents house with the package having the girls name. An a letter with a throw away email so she can contact me if she wants and I don't have to scare her parents or her.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 09:43 pm
@anon115,
Are you ASD?
anon115
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 23 May, 2016 10:04 pm
@ehBeth,
Rather than calling people retarded how about you tell me how to bypass the error when I try to delete the question as I really don't think anyone here has anything constructive to say.
vikorr
 
  3  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2016 06:29 am
@anon115,
Quote:
Anytime a adult male interacts with a stranger who is either younger than 18 or female it is creepy
You aren't doing this - she's your age.

Quote:
Simply saying hello to a stranger is creepy.
You were neighbours.

Quote:
That is the world we live in.
And neither or your examples are relavant to the situation you were asking about. Nor are any of the other examples you provided. Every person here is telling you that reconnecting with childhood friends isn't creepy, but you insist it is...and so for you it is a creepy thing to do.
Quote:
I truly see no reason to call this girl except to confirm the promise is gone so I can be free of it.
This is nuts. That promise has no hold on you except the hold you have allowed it to have - again, no rational adult holds a promise made by a 5 year old, 20 years ago, as something that has meaning in todays world.

Unfortunately, with the belief system you hold to - you will be 'disappointed' by the advice of just about anyone in a forum.

Rather than seeing the girl to be 'free' of it, you need to see a counsellor. You will be able to talk back and forth, and hopefully get to the bottom of your particular fixation with a promise that lost meaning well over a decade ago.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2016 07:33 am
@anon115,
An ASD diagnosis is not a reflection of intelligence.
0 Replies
 
Cinderellie74
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2016 07:56 am
@anon115,
When you call her parents say something like I came across this plank of wood (insert girls name) gave me when we were kids. It started me thinking about our childhood. Could you please pass along my name and number and tell her I called. It would be great to catch up with a childhood friend.

You don't have to go into the marriage thing. I am sure she has moved on with her life. Kids at the age of 5 or 6 make lots of promises they don't keep. Heck at that age kids don't completely understand what a promise is. I also never make a promise I can't or don't intend to keep but something from when you were 5... So much has changed and you have both moved on. Maybe look her up on FaceBook or some other social media site.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 May, 2016 09:45 pm
You should not give any power to a "promise" made by a child. You couldn't possibly do that. So forget it. Both of you are NOT the same people, so don't try to start where you left off.

How about seeking out or calling a friend of hers (or a friend of a friend) and asking about her. Maybe you will find out more - married, dead, 10 kids, in prison, rich, poor, divorced, etc. etc..

0 Replies
 
LunaMia1
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 May, 2016 04:53 pm
@anon115,
I think the more casual thing to do would be to reconnect through Facebook perhaps? I doubt the number works now.
0 Replies
 
 

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