Should I Let An Old Promise Go?

Of course she has moved on and is not waiting for you. But I think you should call her. It's not creepy. Why not reconnect with a childhood friend?

I agree that it is not creepy to call and try to contact a good childhood friend. Just don't do so with any expectations. Heck, she was only 5 when you moved away. The question is not whether she has moved on, the question is whether or not she even remembers you.

So sure, try seeing if you can get in contact with her. Probably be difficult with only a 17 year old phone number. But you never know. Good luck.

Well even though it still seems really creepy to me I really hate loose ends. Though I think your probably right and she very likely doesn't remember me as I myself only have about 4 or 5 memories of her. However if I do remember correctly she was 6 years old when I left as she was a few months to a year older than me.

I reverse phone searched online and the white pages say her parents still live in the house with that phone number guess I will have to call them and explain the situation. This is going to be stupid and embarrassing.

My big problem with the plank isn't that I want to reconnect with old friends it is that I am the one holding the ball. She couldn't contact me so it falls on me to be the one to finish this. I fully expect her to have moved on, her not doing so is the worst case scenario I fear I could be responsible for.
I still think it is creepy but I need to finish this. I hope the number still works though as I tried calling once but no one picked up.

Don't have to worry about that promise to marry. Pretty much every kid does that.

Call if you want to catch up with a friend. Otherwise - don't.

It only seems creepy because you still have expectations - no rational adult holds a 5 year old kid to a promise from 20 years ago (or however long it was).

Nor is it a loose end - again, it was a 5 year olds promise 20 years ago - no rational adult holds a 5 year old kid to a promise from 20 years ago (or however long it was).

All that said, it doesn't at all seem creepy to me to reconnect with a childhood friend. But she of course may not remember you.

Keh?

"Hello, my name is ####. Is this %%%% who used to live next door to me at <address>"

"No, sorry"

"Ah okay. thank you for your time. I hope you have a good day."

Or

"Yes it is."

"Back then I was friends with your daughter, and I would like to get back in contact with her."

Expectations? No I do not hold some sick fantasy of romance. I am not a romantic person nor do I find people who are very pleasant. I truly see no reason to call this girl except to confirm the promise is gone so I can be free of it.

The whole thing is obviously creepy because it is creepy. Anytime a adult male interacts with a stranger who is either younger than 18 or female it is creepy. Simply saying hello to a stranger is creepy. That is the world we live in. My own father having raised me and my brothers alone had to experience this as whenever he took us to public parks and playgrounds moms would call the police to report a man at a park for kids. I remember at least 2 occasions growing up I had to tell the cops that he was my dad. An that is even taking into account that he was a very presentable and not sketchy looking guy. Adult men are automatically assumed to be trouble so calling a stranger for info about their child is extremely creepy for a adult man to do.

I must admit I am disappointed in the "advice" I've found online about this as it seems most only want to express their opinion of how something that is obviously considered creepy isn't because they aren't viewing it in the right light. An how they think doing such a creepy act is worth it simply for the sake of making a friend when if I wanted a friend I could simply make one where I live now. What I wanted was advice as to how to proceed as I do not contact people often. Advice about the whitepages or the solution I ultimately came up with would have been what I was looking for.

An that solution is just to mail the plank back to the parents house with the package having the girls name. An a letter with a throw away email so she can contact me if she wants and I don't have to scare her parents or her.

Are you ASD?

Rather than calling people retarded how about you tell me how to bypass the error when I try to delete the question as I really don't think anyone here has anything constructive to say.

You aren't doing this - she's your age.

You were neighbours.

And neither or your examples are relavant to the situation you were asking about. Nor are any of the other examples you provided. Every person here is telling you that reconnecting with childhood friends isn't creepy, but you insist it is...and so for you it is a creepy thing to do.
This is nuts. That promise has no hold on you except the hold you have allowed it to have - again, no rational adult holds a promise made by a 5 year old, 20 years ago, as something that has meaning in todays world.

Unfortunately, with the belief system you hold to - you will be 'disappointed' by the advice of just about anyone in a forum.

Rather than seeing the girl to be 'free' of it, you need to see a counsellor. You will be able to talk back and forth, and hopefully get to the bottom of your particular fixation with a promise that lost meaning well over a decade ago.

An ASD diagnosis is not a reflection of intelligence.

When you call her parents say something like I came across this plank of wood (insert girls name) gave me when we were kids. It started me thinking about our childhood. Could you please pass along my name and number and tell her I called. It would be great to catch up with a childhood friend.

You don't have to go into the marriage thing. I am sure she has moved on with her life. Kids at the age of 5 or 6 make lots of promises they don't keep. Heck at that age kids don't completely understand what a promise is. I also never make a promise I can't or don't intend to keep but something from when you were 5... So much has changed and you have both moved on. Maybe look her up on FaceBook or some other social media site.

You should not give any power to a "promise" made by a child. You couldn't possibly do that. So forget it. Both of you are NOT the same people, so don't try to start where you left off.

How about seeking out or calling a friend of hers (or a friend of a friend) and asking about her. Maybe you will find out more - married, dead, 10 kids, in prison, rich, poor, divorced, etc. etc..

I think the more casual thing to do would be to reconnect through Facebook perhaps? I doubt the number works now.