NEED ADVICE PLEASE 😏

Perhaps you should find out WHY his wife took the kids and left him. That may help you answer your own question

We don't know the either of you so how can we tell you whether or not he is a good fit for you? Or if your concerns are well founded etc?

He said he was young and immature at the time. She left because he didn't give her the attention she needed. But then they remarried 10 years later and she left again. He said he was very attentive to her this time and wanted it to work, but that she had her own issues and chose to leave again. He says he loves me, but I feel like he will always wish he was still with her, and my insecurities are keeping me from pursuing it. Just needed some advice.

Well, my main question is, even though he says he loves me, since his wife was the one to leave him, do they ever get over that love? Do men always want their first love/wife and settle after that??

Is it possible that he will always love her? Sure.
Does that in any way diminish his love for you? No.


No. And that does not seem to be the situation here. She may always have a place in his heart, but you currently own his heart.

Is this man your first love?

Men are not monolithic beasts who all act the same. Some never get over their first love many do. Each relationship is different.



Some do, some don't. You aren't going to be able to definitively answer this, and none of us can tell you if he is going to get over his first love or if he already is.

Relationships are hard, this is one of the things you'll have to figure out about your relationship that other people won't be too much help with.

No, he's not my first love, but I always chose to leave my other relationships. So, since he was the one who was left, I can't help but feel insecure about the fact that he might always love and want her more than me. I know he loves me, but I can't help but feeling insecure about the fact that he would probably would still be with her if she hadn't have left him. Just wanted some opinions on it.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

Are your past loves still focused on regaining your love?

Thank you for your reply. That helped, I appreciate it.

that is something about you that you are going to have to work out - perhaps on your own, perhaps with the support of a counsellor, perhaps with your boyfriend in attendance at some point
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unless you're 12 or 13, you're unlikely to be with your first love

people move on to good, lasting relationships with people who aren't their first love. Your insecurity is a separate issue.

Well, one of them was, but Im not sure about the others. I guess I just feel like when someone else ends the relationship, there's always that fear that they would still live and want that person, even if they know they can't have them. That's why it's so hard for me to allow myself to be with this person, because my stupid insecurities keep getting in my way
I don't know how to get that out of my mind :/