Taking the woman's last name.

as a guy, I've always expected my son to carry on my name which I am proud of...to not get that would be like being denied something that we were promised. so it would be hard...

Personally, I think a child should always carry his/her father's last name. However, I would never make that a mandatory rule. People should be free to choose whether they want the child to carry the mother's last name if they so desire.

An alternative to that might be that a male child would carry his father's name for lineage purposes and a female child would carry her mother's name.

When I married I automatically took my husbands last name because I thought that I was supposed to. If I had to over again, I would have kept my maiden name. If I am ever widowed or divorced, I will, more than likely, change my name back legally to my maiden name.

I thought about maybe using both my husbands(not that i'm married yet) and my name, and combine them with a hyphen, while having my name on the very end and letting the children decide which last name they wanted to use, or rather, have them use their dad's last name, but still have mine at the very end of their name. If that all made sense.

I hyphenated when I married my wife, but then I have always hated my last name ("Brown"). Do you know how many Browns there are in the world?

Two times my name caused real financial problems - once with a bank, once with a student loan.

If your last name is "Pessimism" I would say go for it

Brownpess

that doesn't sound too good

Nor does Pessbrown.

I don't think I'd stick a kid with a hyphenated name, too much of a mouthful for the poor kid.

stand up
Stand up:

This is an interesting issue concerning the surname of children. Usually, it's not a matter of contention because most women in modern society still think they are supposed to take their husband's name just as doglover pointed out.

However, modern couples do have options concerning their surnames upon marriage and I believe the states are starting to present those options when a couple applies for a marriage license. As the decades pass, I'm sure more and more couples will stray from the traditional use of the man's surname as the family name.

If you want your children to have your surname, that is indeed a possibility. [However, it's also a touchy subject and one that your future husband might strenuously object to because men have been conditioned throughout time to believe their children have the "God-given" right to carry the father's last name. Wow! Talk about a hot gender issue!]

When a child is born to an unwed mother, the child is given the mother's surname unless the unwed father signs a paternity acknowledgment form and both parents agree that the child shall carry the father's surname and have that surname placed on the birth certificate.

Unwed fathers are coming forward and demanding that their children born outside of marriage be given their surnames. This is a serious and contentious issue because the unwed mother may also want her child to carry her surname. Is it in the child's best interest in that situation to be given the father's surname simply because the father declares it to be the child's "God-given" right?

We know a modern-day court could NEVER constitutionally rule that it's a child's God-given right to carry the father's name because this would be blatant discrimination against the mother based on gender in violation of the equal protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. (Also, probably a violation of the separation of church and state clause in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.)

So, how does a court determine what surname a child should bear when his parents aren't married?

I don't know about you, but I kinda am attracted to Lady Lawyers who get all hot and bothered over "HOT GENDER ISSUEs"...they know they're not "supposed" to as they contemplate their "GOD-GIVEN" right! "BOING!"

WHEW!

I never married, but gave my son his fathers last name since we planned on getting married at the time and I wish I hadn't. My sons middle name is not the same as his fathers, so he's not a Jr. My son also wishes I had given him my last name, since he no longer wants anything to do with his father.

Like you Montana, I was not married when I gave birth to my son. But with his father's permission, I gave my son his fathers last name because I thought it was the right thing to do. I never married the bio dad and he died when my son was 6 years old.

Like your son, my son also wishes I would have given him my maiden name as his bio dad was never in his life and MY dad has always been my son's primary father figure in his life and naturally, my son feels closest to his grandfather.

hi montana and doglover, can't you chage your sons names now?

stand up--i never knew that you couldn't give your child whatever name you wanted. i would do what feels most comfortable to you and your partner.

in my situation, it was an honor to take my husbands name. i even wrote a letter to his parents telling them how proud i was to be joining their family. i'm a little old fashioned though and pretty conservative.

Allrighty then. I enjoyed that debonair speech.

I never intend to marry, and I will never have children, but, speaking hypothetically, I would probably hyphenate. There is no reason why half a child's heritage should be forgotten due to marriage. The only problem with this is what happens with the next generation's children... will they have three or four surnames when they marry?

I have a friend, her and her husband put both their names together when they got married. etc. "herlastname-hislastname" They both have to sign their checks and what-not with the two names, but when they had their child, they decided the name would be to long and like Drom kinda said, confusing. So instead, they used the moms last name as a second middle name.

I know a couple of women who've given their maiden names to their children as first names.

I don't think mine would work for that....lol

it would be nice if the girls took on their mother's last name, and the boys took on the father's last name. i say this because I think the chain between mothers and daughters is nearly as special as the chain between fathers and sons. being able to look back at your great grandfather who was famous for some other reason and feel bonded to him by having the same last name is really cool.

by using hyphenations, or combinations, this is lost. it also means that at least one of the names will probably be lost in the next generation.

but having the girls take on their mothers names would be even more problematic, because then there would be the issue of jealousy...and women wanting to have a daughter, and men wanting to have a son, even more than exists already. some parents might even feel less like a parent, if they had one child that carried their name and one that didn't. children might also feel less related to each other (although i dont feel that way and my brother has a different last name).

by having the mans last name carried on by tradition, most of these problems are solved because "its just tradition".

Yes, but times are changing, and this is going to happen sooner or later.

I'm hyphenated, my husband isn't, and this makes for interesting introductions and telemarketing calls.

Telemarketer: "Can I speak to Mrs. S__?"
Me: "No, I'm sorry, she lives in New York." (here I'm referring to my mother-in-law)
Telemarketer: "Well, can I speak to Mr. S__?"
Me: "No, sorry, he's at work."
Telemarketer: "Well, I need to talk to whoever is in charge of buying __."
Me: "That would be me."
Telemarketer: "Are you Mrs. S__?"
Me: "No, she lives in New York."

Often, the telemarkter hangs up, screaming.

At our wedding, when we were first introduced as husband and wife, we just went with our first names. Neither of us wanted to be introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. S__".