My two roommates don't like me and ignore me but one of them molested me... but why ?

Reply Sun 1 May, 2016 07:26 am
I'm a freshman in college and in a room with two girls that know each other well, they were mean towards me from the first day because of my looks and how short and skinny i am, I'm also very nervous around people, they were discussing me like i wasn't there but i didn't said anything, after that they started to ignore me. I'm in the same class with one of them and she became friends with everyone very fast and i sit alone because of my anxiety. Living with them isn't hard i just sit on my laptop all day and they go out almost everyday to party and to hang out with their new friends, they do annoy me with few little things but it's nothing big, they go home every weekend i go home every two weekends because i come from a poor family plus i have 3 little brothers so i can't afford it. After a few months one of them went home but the girl in my class stayed, after an hour she was sitting on her bed and told me to come for a sec, i went next to her she stood up pushed me on her bed pinned me down and kissed me and i was just shocked i just froze there then she told me if i tell anyone she will ruin my life and started touching me (i won't go into details about that), I'm very weak and i don't weight much plus i was very scared so i just gave in and let it happen here comes the sad part i really think she can ruin my life because i have no friends in college unlike her, I can't switch rooms in the dorm because they are all taken, there aren't many rooms in general in fact i barely made it in the dorm thanks to my little brothers, I can't quit college because my parents will kill me (they are a diffrent story), The whole thing lasted about an hour, the next few days were very awkward i can't even look her in the eyes and she is acting like nothing happened. I just don't know what to do i don't get it why would you kiss and molest someone you don't like ?
Reply Sun 1 May, 2016 07:35 am
Tell the Dorm Director.


You do not deserve to be treated this way. Forget that the rooms are taken. They will find a place for you, or they will move these bullies. It is not your responsibility to try to figure out placement.

You do not need to give a damn about why she would do that. She's a nasty bully. That's why she did it. Period.

Please tell the Dorm Director. They are trained to deal with this crap. You do not need to be a victim.
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Reply Sun 1 May, 2016 10:24 am
Are you in the U.S.?

You MUST get out of that living situation ASAP.

Tell your Resident Assistant, or whomever is the person who oversees your floor. They WILL find you another room.

You are going to have to stand up for yourself, in the meantime. Tell that girl if she touches you one more time, you are going to report her.

Then do it, anyway. She is a bully.
Reply Sun 1 May, 2016 12:41 pm
I disagree on that, report her now, don't wait for one more time. I do agree about standing up for yourself.
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Reply Sun 1 May, 2016 09:52 pm
Although I agree with the sentiment of what everyone else has said (get yourself moved), I would go about it slightly differently - if your dorm has a counsellor / support worker / or someone similar : approach the counsellor and tell him/her what happened.

I've seen people who suffer from social anxiety, who go to a person in authority, and:
- they are very worried they won't be believed
- when it comes the crunch, their anxiety mounts, and they can't get their story straight in their own head (so they can't tell their story straight)
- they can't answer questions straight (same reason as above)
- already extremely worried about not being believed, they don't deal well with their story being either clarified or challenged well (eg she's a lovely girl - why would she do something like that?)

The end result is that such people give off a lot of signals consistent with liars, and so, despite the truth of the matter, they can at times not be believed - which can cause immense stress.

Hence why, if you are one of these types of people, approaching a counsellor (or similar person) is advisable - they are trained to listen (or are usually the best at listening). They should also have some experience dealing with people who suffer from social anxiety. And they should know how to get you moved without causing waves (with the other students) for you.
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