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Sat 30 Apr, 2016 11:42 pm
Hi i know this is really long but i really need some help or im gonna literally loose my mind.
I have little to no friends. I just can't make out a conversation with people, i'm very socially awkward so every time i talk to people im too busy on if i look weird or sound weird in any way. I have what we call here "Associates" and only like two friends who aren't always with me so im usually alone. When i am at lunch i sit alone. All the people i speak with have plenty of friends but i have hardly any. It makes me so jealous because theyre like popular, not that i would want to be popular but i just want a little group to hang with, a group that will always be there for me. And a group where i wont ever feel left out. One of my friends tanner asked if she could sit with me at lunch on Friday and i was like sure, and then i asked her why. She was like 'because i always looked lonely' that made me feel so sad because its true and i cant believe people are actually noticing. And you know what makes me even more sad. She didnt even sit with me at lunch.
in forth grade i was a really talkative person but i dont know what happened. I use to get in trouble for talking alot too lol. I had these two really close friends and i also had several of more friends. They were even in the fifth! Once we met in middle school they said i act really different, i hanged with one of them but it wasnt like what it used to be. She never hanged with me after that so i lost them both and they moved on into high school later.
how can i gain some friends like my other friends who barley speak to me, also when i do speak with them people always distract theem and drag them away from me and then they end up talking to them instead *cries*
please help
@MarlekyQuinn,
MarlekyQuinn wrote:. . . so every time i talk to people im too busy . . .
If you're always too busy, you can't expect much in return.
Try this.
Listen to others.
Ask about them. Stuff they did. Stuff they like. Other stuff about them.
It may be difficult at first; but it should help.
Let us know.
@neologist,
Of course, when you ask them about themselves, try to not make it sound like an interrogation.
How about this..are therethere some clubs, sports, arts that are offered afterschool? Maybe something of interest to you? This is is easier way to make friends as you already have something in commonths with them.
@MarlekyQuinn,
Quote:One of my friends tanner asked if she could sit with me at lunch on Friday and i was like sure, and then i asked her why.
Maybe your problem is that you lack self confidence. When someone asks if they can sit with you, the answer is either yes or no. Not "why." If you cannot think of any reason for someone else to want to sit with you, then you should not be surprised when they do not sit with you. (Why, oh why, would you ask her why she wants to sit with you? You probably came of as being rude so she decided not to sit with you. What did you expect?)
@MarlekyQuinn,
I'm in sort of the same position as you and I know it's hard. Try to find common interests with people, and maybe notice if there are other people that don't have a lot of friends too. You can try to reshape out to those people and they'll probably reach back out to you. Best of luck.
@MarlekyQuinn,
I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but maybe try talking to the less popular people, ya' know? It might help to talk to someone who is as nervous as you, because it will help you both feel more comfortable to see that the other is just as nervous and self conscious as you are.
@MarlekyQuinn,
Speaking to barley goes against the grain for some.
@Stacywhite435,
He used the word 'barley' in the title. Barley is a grain so it should have been the word .barely'.
@roger,
wheat need some butter correction systems, to make it fully fuelproof
@MarlekyQuinn,
I had the same issues at one point during middle school. The first , and most important thing, you want to work on is your self confidence. Just start by consciously standing straighter with your shoulders back. Keep your head held high. It may feel weird at first but it almost automatically makes you feel better about yourself. Secondly, take a few minutes everyday to look in the mirror and say "I have confidence in myself." Say it again and again. At first, it feels like a lie, but eventually, you will start to believe it. People gravitate toward confident people and having confidence makes it much easier to handle rejection, which is just part of life sometimes. Put yourself out there. Tell yourself that you will approach one person today and ask how they are. Ask how they like the class you're in together and go from there. If you don't click, it's their loss. You deserve to have friends. People love you. Try to believe this and I guarantee it will change your mood for the better.
Consider yourself in-between friends groups.
You had friends in 4th and 5th, and now are in a new era of your life.
It's going to be challenging, but - hey - just start with ONE buddy and work from there.
@MarlekyQuinn,
Awww..you're going to be just fine with a little confidence in yourself!! Maybe go sit with a group of folks if there's a far end of the table. Listen to what they're talking about..don't say anything but just sit there. Smile every now and then..and laugh with them every now and then. Sit there every day. Before too long I'll bet someone's going to ask you to join them!!
@MarlekyQuinn,
Try to overcome your shyness and speak first. Talk about simple things: weather, news, ask how the day was, etc. After a while, you will understand what certain people like to communicate about and it will be easier for you to find an approach to them. Good luck to you!
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