Killing someone indirectly

Reply Tue 19 Apr, 2016 02:34 pm
I took revenge on someone who I had thought was a friend but found out he was f**king my wife (and then bragged about it!). Six months later he killed himself and I suspect it may have had something to do with what I had done to him. The strange thing is I didn't feel good about it (dancing on his grave) and I didn't feel bad about it. I just felt tired and sad for his grandmother who had raised him and now had to bury him.
I feel like there is more I should have gotten from this.
Your thoughts?
Tes yeux noirs
Reply Tue 19 Apr, 2016 02:47 pm
What exactly did you "do to him"?
Reply Tue 19 Apr, 2016 03:16 pm
Curious (or maybe not) what you did to indirectly kill someone. Near where I live, some kids actually got charged that indirectly caused someone to commit suicide. They bullied her to a point where she did kill herself.

Any death is sad - especially a suicide - do you think a friend cheating on your wife is worth to be punished by death? If not, maybe that is why you feel the way you do.

Maybe you are mourning the friend that he was once. And it is easy to understand feeling sad for the poor grandmother who lost someone she raised and loved deeply. That sort of pain for her has to be very deep.
Reply Tue 19 Apr, 2016 08:07 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
My "friend" had lost his job and apartment so I had offered to let him stay in my basement until he could get back on his feet. At the time I found out what he and my wife had been doing he happened to be in jail. Since everything he owned was stored at my house I donated it to thrift stores, burned some of it and had people strip his vehicle. When he got out all he had was what he had taken to jail. I don't know if this had anything to do with his suicide but it happened only six months later.
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Reply Tue 19 Apr, 2016 08:19 pm
At the time I had found out about a number of other affairs my wife had been having so I think that compounded the problem. What bothered me the most I think was he had bragged to his friends about what he had done.
I certainly didn't expect him to kill himself tho. I was angry enough that I had planned to kill him myself when he got out of jail but when he called me to arrange to get his belongings from my house he must have been warned and he never showed up. I feel lucky because if he had I would probably be in prison today.
I just felt that my lack of emotion either way upon hearing about his death was strange. Oddly enough, the reaction of other friends upon hearing of his death was to laugh about it and he hadn't done anything to them.
Reply Thu 21 Apr, 2016 07:56 am
Sounds like he had a lot of things going on in his life. Why was he in jail?

Yes - your actions were extreme. But whether or not it contributed to his suicide is something you probably will never know. You do seem to have a smidgen of empathy and compassion for the whole thing, however. That's a good sign.

Your "friends" don't.

They sound downright toxic to laugh at someone's suicide (although it may be a fear response) I suggest that you get away from them - and a wife who cheats on you and uses others (an unstable him) to provoke you.

Do some volunteer work. It may help you to increase your empathy for other people.
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