wife left me

Been there, meltemp. I can empathize. Get some counseling. Remember that you can cope and you will. You are stronger than you think.

Been there2. After 5 years I still have dreams. But I learned a lot about myself and I've changed some things that caused her to leave. It's helped my current relationship in numerous ways. Be honest with yourself.

My heart goes out to you meltemp. The beginning is always the worst, but as time goes by, you will recover.

Best wishes

mel, one thing that helped me was keeping a journal. At first it was the mad scramblings of the very pissed off, but eventually it helped me work out some issues.

Lots of sympathy from here. Art is a very good way to express your feelings - a journal, poetry, paintings, whatever. Just get them out and, when you're ready, consider some self-exploration. Look into yourself and think about what really happened. Were there signs? Was there something you could have done? Were there behaviors that you were engaging in that might have precipitated this?

But also, I urge you, don't be too hard on yourself. Some people are just impossible to please, or are so noncommunicative that they wouldn't've told you there was a flood even if the house was 200 feet under water.

You'll get through this. One day at a time.

Meltemp,

Mine and I will be married 11 years in December, and I don't how we made it this far. I do know that it's been really hard at times; we have made it through abuse and adultery, alcoholism, unemployment, and the raising of three very problematic children, thus far.

What I'm trying to say is, if you've had the strength to make it through 27 years of marriage, then you can make it without her.

You can.

hang in there.

Thanks for the reply's folks
She is living with her father at the moment and i know this is not working for her. spaeking to my daughter she feels that her mam didnt realise how mutch i felt for her and she is shocked as how things are happening hopefully having second thaughts.Ifeel we can start again but don't know how has anyone got any ideas

Well, if your wife didn't realize how much you felt for her, I think the solution is to tell her. And not just by saying "I love you" but also by doing things. This doesn't necessarily mean bringing presents, more like, offer to get the oil changed in her car, tell her you're going to take her somewhere she likes (shopping, a nice restaurant, the park, whatever). That kind of thing.

You know your wife and should know what she likes. Think of it as dating all over again.

I think this is encouraging as you have a starting point.

Good luck mel. Hopefully this was merely a wakeup call for the both of you.

Thanks for the reply's.
I am going to try my damn hardest to get her back but very frightened at the moment

Sorry to hear it meltemp. Why doesn't your wife "feel the same" about you anymore? Is she just having a mid-life crisis?

I hope you two can work it out. After 27 years it would be ashame it give up now.

i'm glad to hear that it may be worked out between the two of you. i'll tell you that one day i came to visit my parents house...found my dad studying a big manual at the kitchen table...it was a book about becoming a better mate/partner/husband. everything from romance 101 to doing the little things that jespah mentioned. this was 30 years into their marraige! my dad is the strong, silent, engineer type...he felt that he was too silent, and that she felt a little frumpy...hell, it was just getting stale. well, dad paid more attention. they are now 40 years into it, and they are one of the most loving couples i know. it would be great if you could fix it like my dad did. try! try! try! she'll enjoy the fact that she is wanted. show your love. best wishes!

(Did you see this?)

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=31932

ahw thank you sozobe, I was just about to post it and you beet me to the punch!!! many thanks!!!!

Been there too. He returned after a year. But he seemes to be a different person now.
Now I am getting the divorce paperwork ready and he says he loves me and wants to stay with me. But now I am the one who doesn't care about him.

THink hard if you need it at all. When it happened to me - it looked like there is no life witout him anymore.
But later I realized it WAS not a life I wanted to live WITH him either.

Well folks after speaking on the phone tonight to my wifeshe says she is deffinately not coming back to me either now or in the foreseable future. So I guess I am on my own from her on.

It hurts a lot, I know. But... a new horizons are about to open for you...

spoke to her on the phone she say that she is never coming back and it is over but stay as friend
So I gues i am now on my own