Why am I still single?

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So here's the thing. I've been single for a while now. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I have dated someone for a longer period of time. I'm 21 so basically "I'm young and still got time to find someone decent" crap is all I hear. I realize that I still do have time, but honestly I'm feeling hopeless and want to resing myself to this situation. No one seems to notice me. The guys I like do not seem to notice me.

Also, I'm shy and I don't usually approach people first. I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me. I'm not stupid and I'm quite funny. Though, people do not bother to get to know me. I guess the average-looking, curvy me scare them off.

It's not like I'm desperate. Oh well, I guess I've reached the point when I'm actually desperate after all. I need someone to respect me, hug me, laugh with me, lay down with me. Someone to love me. It sounds silly, doesn't it?

It's kind of ironic, because I'm tired of waiting, and on the other hand, I'm also too scared to make a move. I feel insecure. I hate my body. And I don't think anyone would find me attractive.

So yeah. That's me. Why am I still single?

PS Pardon my crappy English, but that's my second language Smile

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@makemecoffe,

Quote:

I'm 21 so basically "I'm young and still got time to find someone decent" crap is all I hear.

And yet that is so very true.

Some people find love early. Some later. Find things to do with other singles in your area. Join some groups where people have similar interests (ie a hiking group, a walking club, a bowling league.) This will put you out there with a chance to meet lots of hopefully single people. Or even married couples who may have single friends. lol

Speaking of which, I have a 29 year old son who I would love to introduce you to. Nice guy. Also a bit shy and has never really been in a relationship. Several crushes over the years, but nothing more. Of course, if english is your second language means you live outside the US, it might be tough for the two of you to meet up and date. lol

Seriously, just be willing to get out and do things to meet as many people as you can. Good luck to you.

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@makemecoffe,

Go out and meet people. Not for dating. Just ... talk to people.

Get involved in stuff that you like. Not for the purpose of meeting a guy, but for the purpose of having fun and doing things you like, whether it's ceramics or church or volunteering at an animal shelter or political activism or music or whatever.

You may meet someone there. You may not. But you'll have plenty to talk about whenever you do meet someone.

You also might want to consider talking to a counselor, at least for a bit, as some of your issues sound a bit like depression/less than optimal self-esteem.

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@CoastalRat,

The thing is that if I do some activities, I usually do them with my friends hence I stay wihin a certain group of people. And as I said, I'm too shy to approach strangers. I'm okay in my comfort zone, and at the same time, I crave to meet someone new. I don't mean somebody to, bang!, be instantly in relationship with, but I would be nice to start seeing someone,

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@jespah,

Not depression, just low self-eteem, and I'm working on that one. I think the problem is that I don't think people will like me when they meet me. When I talk to someone new I usually bubble and make a fool out of myself. So I'd love to follow your advice, but talking to people you don't know ain't that easy.

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@makemecoffe,

It's easier when you've got a project you're doing together.

Let's say you're into painting (feel free to substitute whatever you like). You take a painting class. You paint still lifes and whatever. At some point, you'll look over someone else's shoulder, or they'll look over yours. "Hey, you really caught the pear. I can never seem to get the shadows right."

Boom! There's a conversation starter right there.

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Why am I still single?

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