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Why aren't I his number 1?

 
 
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 10:51 am
As of right now, my Boyfriend is out visiting a friend out in Oregon. While he's been out there, he's been focusing on his friend and doing things out there. And yes his friend is a male.

Anyway I also let him know to focus upon his friend and doing things out there. But this is what upsets me, my Boyfriend is able to post things on social media, but yet he can't send me a text or a quick phone call to say how he is doing.

That hurts me. I just wish he would put me first. I am always the one at times to text him, these long text messages saying how I feel and in return he replies with these 1 line answers or 2-3 line answers. That hurts me.

I wish he would be more romantic in his texts or show more responses in them. Or text me in the morning, afternoon and evening "Hey love, good morning, hope you have a good day". "Hey love, hope your afternoon is going well." "Hey love, hope your evening turned out as swell as you are." But nope he can't do anything like that, and that hurts me.

There's tons of guys that do this sort of thing on TV, in movies, and even some of my family and friends' guys. Its like why can't my guy be this way too? I just feel like he doesn't care much. But he tells me he cares and loves me so much, he wants to be with me and only me.

But yet these little things bother me. What should I do?
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 839 • Replies: 10

 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 11:06 am
@treehugger101,
Screw TV and movies; they aren't real.

As for your friends' fellows, well, so what? Everyone is different. Surely there are reasons why you are with this guy and not them. Romantic texting and whatnot is lovely, but you need to make a choice here. Which is more important - him or these missing texts?

And maybe the texts are important. Maybe he's deficient in other ways, I don't know. Maybe it's evidence of a pattern of insensitivity or taking you for granted. Or maybe he's busy. I have no idea.

You did tell him to go and concentrate on his pal. He is doing that. He's kind of doing what you said he should. Don't get upset when he does. If you did not mean that, you should not have said that (you'd be surprised - or maybe not - at how literal a lot of people are).

In the meantime, learn to ask for what you want in relationships, and also how to make choices as to what's a priority. A lot of women are sold a bill of goods that a guy who brings flowers is oh so romantic, but maybe that guy can't pay the bills because he spends too much money on flowers. Maybe the romantic stuff is hiding in plain sight.

True story. I have been married for just under 24 years. Want to know the sweet things my husband does for me? One of them is, he changes the hand towels every week. Seems silly and small, but I know he's thinking of me (of both of us). It's nicer, it's cleaner, and we probably don't get sick as often because he does that. It may not be the stuff of Harlequin romances, but it's one of the many things he does to show me he cares.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 11:12 am
@treehugger101,
treehugger101 wrote:

But yet these little things bother me. What should I do?


you should think about what matters in a relationship

if text messages mean more to you than someone who loves you then break it off and find someone who texts

it really is that simple

__

you're not going to change who you are and neither is he. if you can't accept who he is, let him find someone who will love him for the person he is and doesn't care about texting
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  5  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 11:14 am
@treehugger101,
What jespah said.
And Don't be clingy, it ruins a good thing..
treehugger101
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 12:41 pm
@Leadfoot,
This guy is clingy and needy just as much as I am.
Leadfoot
 
  2  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 12:55 pm
@treehugger101,
Hopefully you will both get over that.
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 02:14 pm
@treehugger101,
Quote:
This guy is clingy and needy just as much as I am.

Two wrongs don't make a right.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 03:34 pm
@treehugger101,
treehugger101 wrote:

This guy is clingy and needy just as much as I am.


Apparantly he isn't.

0 Replies
 
tony5732
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Apr, 2016 06:30 pm
@treehugger101,
It'll be ok. Give it a while and see how it goes
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Apr, 2016 06:58 am
@treehugger101,
He is what he is.

Some guys are romantic. Some are not. Some guys have no problem texting their GF when they are apart, some not so much.

If the biggest issue you have in your relationship with him is that he does not text long messages when away, then you two are doing great. Hang onto him.
0 Replies
 
drleo
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Apr, 2016 07:10 am
@treehugger101,
Talk to him about how you feel maybe it will help
0 Replies
 
 

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