She wants to talk face to face with my husband one last time.

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In 2011 I found out my husband of 20 years was having an affair with someone I have known and talk to frequently. I stayed with him as we have 3 kids and I thought a pretty good marriage, we never fight. A couple weeks ago I found out that in 2014 they started talking again and have had an on and off thing going on. He is begging me for 1 last chance. We have a son getting married in a few months and 2 more still at home that are 13 and 15. I dont want to interfere with my sons wedding so I agreed (probably very stupid of me) to try and save our marriage. The women is furious with my husband and is demading that he have one last face to face conversation with him to answer some questions or she will send me all the email and text messages that he has sent to her.

My question is do I allow him to meet with her (in a public place) one last time or do I just say "no way" or do I agree to this only if I can be present for this conversation.

Thank you for your help!

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,527 • Replies: 8

View best answer, chosen by Krbmom

@Krbmom,

Depends on if you want to put up with her blackmailing you with her threats of sending you private communications between her and your husband.

If she send the emails and texts, you don't have to read them you know.

You can simple delete them if she decides to send, and she'll get nothing out of it.

However, you say you talk to her frequently, so what's to keep her from just vocalizing all this to you? Unless of course you cut off communication and put her off limits.

In my opinion, there's nothing that can be said between the 2 of them that hasn't already been said.

1 Reply

@chai2,

@ chai2 My husband does not want to meet her and told her that its over and there is nothing to discuss. I think he would rather meet with her then have me see these emails, that is the only reason he is meeting her.

In my opinion, its really pointless for them to meet. It sounds like you agree with that?. She claims she needs some questions answered so she can have closer.

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@Krbmom,

Closure is some made up thing people have come up with so they can drag things out rather than get on with their lives.

There's really nothing else for me to say on this krbmom.

There's your closure.

0 Replies

@Krbmom,

the woman and the emails are a minor issue

what your husband decides to do about meeting with her is up to him - he's the one in a relationship with her (as long as they're communicating in any way they are still in a relationship)

___

as Chai has pointed out, her sending you the emails doesn't mean you have to look at them

you can delete them on arrival, have your husband delete them, have someone else delete them - there is absolutely no need to read them

__

get through your son's wedding, then sort out what's going on with your husband afterward

0 Replies

@Krbmom,

Krbmom wrote:

@ chai2 My husband does not want to meet her and told her that its over and there is nothing to discuss.

then he doesn't have to meet with her

I'd probably tell him to stop talking to me about it and just do whatever it is he needs to do. Cheating for so long would have ended the relationship many years ago for me. I wouldn't really care what he does going forward.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

ehBeth wrote:

I'd probably tell him to stop talking to me about it

This ^

I perosnally have nothing to say about their relationship, and what anyone ends up doing.

The one thing I could do in the immediate situation is tell the spouse to do the above.

0 Replies

I'll be interested in seeing what happens after the wedding. The idea of staying with this cheater just for appearane sake is ludicrous.

As for your children, most likely they know what a sham this all is. You could say " Look Joe, your father and I are separating and Im getting an apartment. This has nothing to do with your wedding and we will both be there ."

You wont be the first person attending a wedding under stress but at least you wont be used.

This woman is not going to give up until she gets her answers. I am willing to bet he broke up with her because she pressured him and this wedding was coming up and he - like you - is stayng in the marriage for appearance sake.

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@Krbmom,

If I were you, I would not trust her. You could give your husband the okay to meet with her one last time and she could still send you those emails. She may even demand to see him again, again, and again with no end. No matter what you do or not do, she will probably one day send you those emails regardless.

What can be gain from her seeing your husband face to face? Ask yourself this. Why does she want to see your husband face to face. I suspect she will try and talk him into leaving you and being with her. I would just say there won't be any face to face meeting unless you are present. If she wants to send you those emails, then so be it. At some point she would have eventually sent you those emails anyway.

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She wants to talk face to face with my husband one last time.

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