Need help reading a woman. I've no idea what is going on.

Forums: Relationships, Advice
Email this Topic • Print this Page

I'm going to try to make this short. Thanks in advance for reading. I'm in college and so is she. We're classmates and we have each other's numbers but we don't call, only text regarding school. We talk in person though and she usually initiates. I really didn't pay much attention to her until recently. I asked for help on an upcoming test and she invited me out to lunch (I was honestly just wanting help). After lunch, she invited me to her place. We studied for 20 minutes maybe then spent about 2 hours just talking. She was staring at me the whole time. She walked me out to my car and that was it.

The next week, I asked her to lunch and she was busy. No biggie. A day later, we had class together and she was staring at me (she sits right across from me). She asked if I wanted to help with an easy assignment after class (she's doing a lot better in the class than I am). I helped her (not really) and she thanked me several times for helping her. We talked for a little while at my car. I figured I'd ask her to lunch again for the next day and she said she was busy again. We said bye and that's it.

So what's going on? I feel she is interested but she's been busy when I ask her to lunch. I figured I'd ask her on a date if lunch went well. I have no clue as to what's going on. Thanks for any advice you can give!

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 935 • Replies: 16

[+3] - izzythepush - 04/09/2016You have no place calling anyone else simple minded. And it's true, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.

I'm guessing for the times you suggested she already had other plans or work or something she has to do, AKA "busy"

How about asking her, "When's good for you?"

Problem is, she may give a time when you are busy.

See how that works?

1 Reply

@NoClue,

In all honesty, it sounds like she IS interested in you. It seems she is holding back though. Perhaps she has a boyfriend already?

1 Reply

Ever see a bird courting video? They kind of walk around each other, first one lunges, then steps way, then the other attacks, then ignores the other. Then they go around in circles, come together, then fight . . . . etc.

That's about what's happening here. She acts like she's thinking about what to do with you. She's doing a lot of push and pull. Maybe she's trying to get to know you to figure out if she's going to "lunge" or not.

But - as someone else wonders - does she have a BF? What do you know about her?

0 Replies

@onevoice,

I never thought of her holding back... When we talked, she said that she used to have a boyfriend but she didn't say how long ago they broke up. So maybe it's recent and that's why she is holding back? Thanks for your replies! Nice bird analogy by the way.

1 Reply

@NoClue,

Have you ever heard of Occam's Razor NoClue?

It's a principle that basically states that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

Meaning, if she says she is busy for the time you are asking her out, that means she is busy.

Then again, it's ever so much more fun to convolute and make everything more complicated than it actually is.

Birds fighting and lunging, holding back, maybe boyfriends Rolling Eyes

? Why not she said she was busy, that means she was busy?

Nah, couldn't be.

1 Reply

@chai2,

best idea

chai2 wrote:

How about asking her, "When's good for you?"

0 Replies

It is the simple minded that look for simple answers. Life is anything but simple. Smile

1 Reply

@chai2,

I'm familiar with it. Keep it simple, stupid (KISS). I can't help but to convolute everything because that is the only manner in which I've witnessed this experience. I've literally, never had a girlfriend in my entire life. So in my eyes, women are the epitome of complexity. Which is why my username is...NoClue. Smile

The next time I talk to her I'll ask her out again and ask when would be good for her.
Thanks for the replies!

0 Replies

@onevoice,

You have no place calling anyone else simple minded.

And it's true, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't call anyone simple minded then. Smile

I made a statement directed at no one in particular there mister. Smile

1 Reply

@onevoice,

onevoice wrote:

Well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't call anyone simple minded then. I made a statement directed at no one in particular there mister.

Give me a break, and that's directed at you.

Now tell me (or anyone/everyone) in your passive agressive way that you'll pray for me, us, whoever. I'd rather you get a birthday cake and make a wish on it and blow out the candle. The wish part is the same as praying, but at least you get some cake.

Everyone's got your number onevoice.

For you life is complicated because you make it that way.

1 Reply

@chai2,

Whether you believe it or not chai I intentionally responded to "all" because it was something that popped in my head after reading what you wrote that I did want to say, but I wanted to make sure it was not thought to be something directed AT you, or anyone else in particular. It's not a personal statement, unless someone chooses to take it that way. I have no control over that part.

1 Reply

@onevoice,

Everything you write can be explained away as some sort of passive aggressive excuse.

That's something I don't think you have control over, or you wouldn't do it.

1 Reply

@chai2,

You guys seriously used to get SO upset at me for taking everything so darn personal. I think I now fully understand why. Wow Chai. But hey... Keep jabbing. I don't care what you think. If I had wanted to be aggressive I most certainly would have. I have nothing to fear. You've already rejected me a 100 times.... It just doesn't hurt anymore. Sorry to disappoint you. And look. I'm still here. Not jabbing back at you. I have no reason to. I'm not angry, hurt, upset, or distressed about any of it. I know you don't like me. It's OK. I really didn't expect you to, to be honest. As a matter a fact I am quite surprised you haven't blocked me yet. Lol

Let me save you the effort of doing it yourself. Wink

1 Reply

@onevoice,

You don't understand that aggressive is not the opposite of being passive aggressive....as the rest of your post continues your PA mindset. You can't change it. It's ingrained in your personality too deeply.

I've never rejected you 100 times. I think I have only addressed you twice...ever. Must be thinking I'm someone else who sees through your BS.

0 Replies

@NoClue,

If u are interested in her and want to know if feelings are mutual, ask her out.
we spend so much time on would have, could have then should have. If she accepts your invitation, be yourself and see where things go.

0 Replies

Need help reading a woman. I've no idea what is going on.

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know