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please help did I do the right thing by breaking up?

 
 
Reply Mon 28 Mar, 2016 12:16 am
I met a guy 4 months ago, we immediately clicked I have a really hard time connecting with people but with him it really just clicked emotionally and intellectually.
from the beginning it was clear he was very busy and seemed like he put school, work, family and friends before me, i knew he still really cared for me but as time past he seemed to write me less and meet up with me less. on one hand I really loved hanging out with him and having him in my life, but on the other hand I was always waiting for him, to call to send a cute message, to meet up and it seemed that most of the time we were together I was sad because I felt alone, I didn't bring it up until we were at a house party he and some friends were organizing, he barely paid any attention to me. the next day I called him and told him how I felt, he went on and on about how important his work is to him, and that he will never change. he said he wanted things to stay the way they are but he would understand if I wanted to break up, the next day I wrote him that I really care for him, love the fact he works hard for his dreams and that I wanted to stay, he wrote me back "ok" and I didn't hear from him for a week. by the beginning of the next week i found myself anxious and sad again, so I told him I wanted to break up, he didn't argue and I haven't heard from him since, its been a week and I'm having second guess, did i do the right thing?
 
Count of Banterbury
 
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Reply Mon 28 Mar, 2016 04:41 am
@rebecca93,
well I rarely give direct answer as I never know the person and the situation therefore real things might be completely different that they sound after few lines of text but this time I would say: yes, you did. From what you have described you cared for him very much but he gave you little in return. It sounds a bit like as if over the time he was loosing interest in you and when you broke up with him and he stayed calm... well... The thing that got me most: "he went on and on about how important his work is to him, and that he will never change". Well, he told you his priorities. You can't do anything about that.

If the text above describes real events and feelings, I would say: leave it be, find somebody else...
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Mon 28 Mar, 2016 07:18 am
@rebecca93,
No matter how you feel about someone, if he cannot provide what you want in a relationship, then you might as well end the relationship. He does not seem that he is in a place to give you what you need. That does not make him a bad person, it just is what it is. If you are unhappy with what he can currently give, then breaking up was best for you.
rebecca93
 
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Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2016 12:12 am
@Count of Banterbury,
real events unfortunately
thanks for your replay I needed to hear this.
0 Replies
 
rebecca93
 
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Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2016 12:14 am
@CoastalRat,
thanks for your replay, I didn't think of things like that, but you are so right.
0 Replies
 
 

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