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Thu 24 Mar, 2016 03:27 am
So my best friend (let's call her Megan) got a boyfriend (let's call him Finn) about 8 months ago and recently (in December) they got a lot closer. She hasn't done anything deliberately to hurt me, but little things keep hurting and upsetting me ALL THE TIME. Like when they first started dating she hardly saw him and he was always grounded, but now they see each other a lot more. Little things like her inviting him to a concert which I'd asked to go with her to, and she didn't even realise and then gave me a pity invite and said I could join. Her being busy a lot and not always being able to see me. I just feel like now I have to share her, which I don't like because she's my best friend. I know it may be selfish of me, I should be happy for her right? It's just hard when I no longer feel like I'm the most important person in her life. Also like her changing her password to their anniversary and her profile picture and phone background all to him instead of me hurts. I try so hard to be happy for her, but when I see they're together, it hurts me cause I don't get to see her a lot in the holidays anymore. And then I hate it because I feel the need to make her hurt like she hurts me, like befriending her enemy and stuff which I know is wrong. So how do I cope with this? I want her to be happy, and I know she's happy with him, but how do I make myself happy and be okay with their relationship if it's upsetting me all the time?
Apparently, you think your feelings are more important than hers. Get a grip, develop some perspective and a sense of proportion. If you really are her friend, you'll be happy for her, and you won't want to intrude.
This is a common issue between both boys and girls when best friends get into another relationship.
You are just going to have to schedule things in advance with her. Don't assume that you will be included in every activity. Ask her to block out some time for you, like every Tues. nite, for a "girl's nite out."
This is also the time for you to let go of intense relationships a little and expand your own life style so it doesn't revolve around ONE persons. Try to get more friends. Try a new hobby or new interest. Try to find out about yourself, more.
Most of all, stay out of their relationship. You might get blamed for things you had no part of and you might be used everytime they have a fight.
@Amber123,
You're acting like a jealous lover.
@Amber123,
great advice from PUNKEY. Everything he/she told you I would recommend to take as a blueprint for your next life. I could not write it better, simply what you feel is normal, but it is her right and you should widen your personal life too. Just as PUNKEY said. It worked for me too, btw.
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