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dating websites cheating?

 
 
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 11:24 am
My husband and I have been married almost 6 years. A while back he started being very private 28th his phone and browser history. I had to use his phone and he got a message on KIK messaging app while I was on it from some gal dating that's fine. The rest Of The comment thread was deleated. I snoooped and found mtuple dating web accounts active and he was looking in our area. I confronted him and he told me it was nothing. I asked him to stop and he said he would. A few months later I had to use his phone again and found the same thing. I confronted him again and again he says it's nothing and promised to stop. Now everything is locked with an app lock program and he says I have no right to look. What do I do?
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 11:27 am
@page2016,
Invite him to join you at a couples counselling appointment.

If he declines, let him know you will be going to counselling independently. You need to look into why you're still with him.
page2016
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 03:56 pm
@ehBeth,
I'm in counciling. I invited him to go and he refuses of course. I'm just not sure if I should blindly give him the benifit of the doubt or walk out. Together we have 6 kids (mine and his) 4 are still at home and I love my family. Id do anything to make this wrk but I'm running out of ideas. Therapist says when I'm Fed up I will leave but to try as long as I feel like I need to.
Dose that sound crazy
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 04:02 pm
@page2016,
Love if you already are seeking help for yourself and he's not interested in doing the same and is continuing with trying to date other women, or sleep with them, what benefit of the doubt is there ?

He's done it twice, said he'd stop, gone to such a length to ensure you can't see a thing.

Your therapist is right, you haven't gotten to the point of losing all love for him but remember also whilst you are feeling down, non loved, hurt, the children "feel" it and "see" it, yet alone and happy and smiling, your children will "feel" it and "see" it and eventually you will too.
page2016
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 05:54 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
He swears he hasn't gone outside of the marriage and I want to bealive it but in the same breath down plays the whole thing like I'm overreacting and all men even married ones go on dating sites and easy sex hookup sites and it's not a big deal. Jes either hiding something or really just honestly thinks the behavior is ok
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 05:57 pm
@page2016,
Wake up.

I can understand infidelity, physical or similar, and resolution with time and, also, no resolution.

That is not what is going on.

He is not that into you.



page2016
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 06:08 pm
@ossobuco,
I appreciate the response but can you elaborate? If it's not infidelity what is it?
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 06:09 pm
@page2016,
I edited my post..

ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 06:19 pm
@ossobuco,
Well, this is tricky, as he may actually love and need you, in his way. I'm no one to guess.

But he is at least 'high' on all this stuff, which is probably sort of addictive.
page2016
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 06:32 pm
@ossobuco,
It all started happening when he started drinking again so the addiction part makes sense
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 06:53 pm
@page2016,
The question is what will you do. I'd be gone, easy enough to say from here, but, far as I think, is a good serious idea, as in, do it now.

I'll add, don't just listen to me, people differ, and I'm just one more poster.

Keep thinking on all of this.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 07:16 pm
@page2016,
Nope.

Not all men (single or married) go on dating and easy sex hookup sites.

He's hoping you believe him when he lies.

I feel sorry for the kids who are learning about how to be partners from the two of you. He lies and you let him.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 07:17 pm
@page2016,
page2016 wrote:
I love my family.


what do you love about being with a liar?
page2016
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 07:51 pm
@ehBeth,
I appreciate your concern for the kids and we keep our issues very private and do not discuss them in the open our children are all older the youngest being 11 and know that relationships have ups and downs. They don't know he's lying or what has been done. All they know is that life ain't always perfect. They also go to a Councilor who is in contact with mine and with me also bc I strongly feel it's important to have a safe outside person they can vent and process with. If I saw this negatively effecting my children or if one of our trained professionals said that it was I would pull the plug in a heart beat. Its not too that point yet.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 08:08 pm
@page2016,
No you don't, kids know.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2016 10:07 pm
@page2016,
Kids know.
0 Replies
 
 

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