How do deal with rejection in school that hurts a lot?

Forums: Relationships, Friendship, Friend, Friends, How To Make Friends
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Hi, First of all sorry for my weak english.There is a girl in my class who showed me some interest at the beginning. We just talked to each other few times about our class and curses.After 3 months ,finally one day, I stopped her at the lobby and I told her that she is a great person and I really like t keep in touch with her more to get to know her better. I know that I freaked her out because it was too early to ask a girl to hang out without first becoming close friends. I'm a shy person and it was really hard for me to flirt with her. She told me that she is with someone right now however, she is not sure what will happen in the future because she hasn't received any news from that person recently. She said time will fix all issues and then she left. Since that time, I have started ignoring her and I'm doing my best to forget about her because my heart is broken and I'm depressed. She initiates conversation with me sometimes after the rejection or says Hi to me while raising her hands when she is far from me.but I replied her short and cold . I believe she talks to me because we are classmates and she still wants to be friend with me.I don't want to be rude because I still like her but do I still need to keep doing this or I should change my way
I would appreciate if anyone can help me

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 900 • Replies: 9

@mahandmd,

Why are you now being rude to her?

If you want to be friends with someone you have to actually be polite and, you know, friendly.

Ignoring someone is not going to make them like you. Being short and cold is not a way to make any kind of friend.

Be nice to EVERYONE.

1 Reply

@mahandmd,

mahandmd wrote:

After 3 months ,finally one day, I stopped her at the lobby and I told her that she is a great person and I really like t keep in touch with her more to get to know her better. I know that I freaked her out because it was too early to ask a girl to hang out without first becoming close friends. I'm a shy person and it was really hard for me to flirt with her.

there is no need to flirt

just be nice and polite and friendly

don't tell people you don't know that you think they're great

that is not how friendships develop

__

be nice

say hello when you see her

respond when she greets you

say hello to other people

respond when they greet you

make many friends instead of freaking out one person

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

I think I have no chance to date with her after she rejected me like this. But I will greet her and I will be nice to her. thank you for your response.

1 Reply

@mahandmd,

You are the one rejecting her.

__

You need to start over - and apply the same rules to everyone - greeting/polite etc

0 Replies

@mahandmd,

mahandmd wrote:

I believe she talks to me because we are classmates and she still wants to be friend with me.

think hard about this

she wants to be friends (maybe) and you are ignoring her

why in the world would she want to date someone who ignores her?

0 Replies

@mahandmd,

hmm... first thing it is good you let your though out.

I would say your biggest enemy here is yourself. You were afraid, you were hurt and so you are afraid even more to get hurt. So you are cold and aloof to her despite she is giving you chances to get closer.

I might give you advice: give it her chance, stop worrying and close your fear, talk to her like to somebody you like regardless she likes you back or not. This is what mature, confident person would do and this is what most of the girls like about men. However, I have a feeling you are not confident and mature enough and despite you understand these words, you are hardly in a position to follow them.

Your destiny is in your hands.

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@ehBeth,

You replied "short and cold"? What message do you think this sends?

Smile a loty; make funny faces (not rude ones!) across the room, ask her questions about her opininons, etc.

1 Reply

@Coach Simon,

Learn to read - she said that is not the way to talk.

0 Replies

@mahandmd,

Quote:

She told me that she is with someone right now however, she is not sure what will happen in the future because she hasn't received any news from that person recently. She said time will fix all issues and then she left.

This is not necessarily a rejection. It sounds like she is currently seeing someone - perhaps having issues with the relationship. It sounds like she is unavailable as a girlfriend right now. But she didn't say I have no interest in you.

And what is wrong with being friends with her? There must be a reason you like her and you both seem friendly with each other. Why do you want to take away any sort of friendship?

Maybe you did move too fast so she is be cautious - she seems to still like you and want you as a friend -- often times good strong friendships develop into more. It doesn't mean that this would happen, but there is a possibility. And even if it doesn't, if she is a good person as you describe, why wouldn't you want her as a friend?

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How do deal with rejection in school that hurts a lot?

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