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Wed 9 Mar, 2016 11:19 am
After much internal deliberation, I figured it wouldnt hurt to share my thoughts and receive some insight into my dilemma. I'll start by briefly explaining my situation; I'm a married 32yo female. My husband and I have a 14yo daughter, and for the most part, have a great life. We are financially comfortable, healthy and our daughter is amazing. We've been together since High School, so obviously we've had our ups and downs, but I wouldnt trade him or our life for anything. My problem is that I've recently began corresponding with someone that has led to what could very soon be an affair. This is not an emotional affair, but just complete absolute attraction. I'm extremely picky in who I find attractive, and I've never let the situation arise where I would cheat on my husband. He has, however, in the past strayed. We've worked through it, but I can't lie that since this situation has arisen, I think back to those occasions. I'm over the part of feeling guilty that I may go ahead with the affair. Here is the really sticky part, that has my morales screaming - the guy I'm talking about is an 18yo Senior in High School. I'm very active with my daughter and her social life, so a lot of her friends (guys & girls) text and call me as friends and for advice. That's how this started...he gradually expressed his interest and it's just kinda gone from there. He's almost 19, so the age is technically ok. But I know it's taboo for this age difference, and it's got me torn. At 32, I definitely consider myself in my prime, and I am considered gorgeous. I'm hit on daily, and have just never had the interest. So I don't know why this kid does it for me...perhaps because he doesn't sugar coat things and says what he wants - gotta appreciate that. He knows about my dilemma with his age, which is why things haven't gotten physical. He tells me it's a guys dream to be with someone like me at his age, and honestly, at my age - I think it would be a blast to be with him. Like I said, no feelings involved just a instinctual attraction. The friends that I've talked about it with think I should go for it...but just looking for some unbiased feedback.
@SunnyDayz,
Your friends say go for it??? What sort of friends do you have? There is no way this could end well.
Do you want to hurt your husband or your daughter especially over a meaningless fling? Think about what would happen if one of them discovers this - which is highly likely seeing you hooked up with this boy via connections with your daughter. You say you wouldn't trade your husband for anything - I think you are by considering cheating on him -- how much can you possibly care about him if you are willing to lie and cheat on him.
If you want to think of this logically - just do a table with pros and cons...
Pros - hot sex with a good looking younger man
Cons - hurt husband/potential future divorce; hurt daughter - no longer wanting anything to do with her mother; embarrassment - yours, your husband and daughter (imagine her at school when others find out); potential stalker of younger man; ruined reputation; taking advantage of young man that isn't even out of high school.
Now to put things in prospective imagine your daughter in 4 years, and now imagine a 32 year old married man with a child wanting to have sex without any emotion behind it with your daughter. How would you feel?
@SunnyDayz,
It's also a guy's dream to tell all the other guys he fulfilled his dream. Word *will* get out. You could end up in a long term living hell that is extremely difficult to escape. Your friends encouraging you may just want to live vicariously through your actions, putting themselves at no personal risk. They do not sound much more mature than an 18 year old themselves. No true friend would want you to do something that will cost you everything you say you hold dear.
PS, this 18 year old guy is probably already telling his buddies he's got you nibbling his line and is patiently coming in for the kill. If you weren't raised around boys like I was (5 brothers) you have no idea how a young man will talk sincere and sweet and promising to you while exhibiting a whole other side of bragging and crudeness to his pals.
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