Reply
Sat 27 Feb, 2016 10:09 am
Okay so in October I had to move 12 hours away because my boyfriend got a job traveling, as if that isn't bad enough my best friend stopped talking to me after about a week. I went home for Christmas and New Years where I got engaged. She was there and seemed to be genuinely excited and happy for me since we had talked about planning my wedding forever. I went back home and all communication stopped, again. She then found out somewhere in the mixt of all of this that both of her grandparents were terminally ill so when she would text me it was about them, i would offer my support and sympathy then after she said what she needed to say she would stop texting back. I have now been engaged for almost 3 months and she has not asked me a single question about the wedding, engagement or move. She has texted me twice this month, two weeks apart. Which on those days her grandparents passed away. I feel completely guilty that i am upset that she hasnt talked to me or let me be there for her, i mean the girl just lost her grandparents. But at the same time is it so much to ask that she just ask me ONE question about my engagement or how i am or anything about the wedding that she always was talking about? THOUGHTS PLEASE.
@Brittellis,
She's not your "best friend". It's not a two-sided relationship. When she needs your ear to vent or your shoulder for support, she might call you. Otherwise, not so much. If you reflect on your past relationship as a whole, you might discover that the "friendship" has always been lopsided. Because you moved far away and are not available in the way you were in the past, your value to her is apparently far less than what you thought it was or hoped it would be.
@Brittellis,
Not sure what to make of your situation. I am 50 yo and my BFF and I have been like sisters for 47 years. She moved to CA 30 years ago and nothing changed.
My best response is to say friendship is a 2 way street. You are in a very positive place right now and she is not. I know when I lost my Mom I isolated myself because I felt so sad and I didn't want to bring anyones spirits down. I wasn't very good company. Perhaps she feels pretty depressed and just not her usual happy celebratory self.
You're getting married and there are going to be times when you have to give a lot more than you are receiving. I say reach out to your friend. From my experience love is about putting the other person ahead of yourself and meeting other peoples needs without expecting something in return. You say she is your best friend-are you willing to support her even though she's not supporting you? Marriage is going to test this so make sure you are ready.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace