33 y/o wife confused

Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 09:43 am
oman, my husband took a promotion at work to get into management. I didn't understand why he needed to take it because he gets the jobs that no one else wants and is constantly away from home for long periods of time. This has put a strain on our marriage and our sex life. When I tried to talk to him about it he told me to take up a ceramic class or something to take up my time. Last week I went to a wine tasting at a local winery. I met a very nice couple and we sat and chatted for a long time. Before we said our goodbyes we exchanged emails and phone numbers because we live very close to one another. During the week we started emailing back and forth and that led to texting. During our texting she started asking me personal questions and I started confiding in her about what was going on with my sexlife. The texting got pretty heated that night and the next. she told me they are swingers and have been involved with married women many times. They have asked me to come over during the week for dinner and drinks, she even told me they smoke pot, I told her I haven't done that in years and she said it will be fun. I know what they want just not sure what to do
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 11:51 am
So why not ask your husband what you should do? He should have more of an input into your decision than we should.
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Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 11:53 am
Jenstanf wrote:
When I tried to talk to him about it he told me to take up a ceramic class or something to take up my time.

ask your husband if sex with another couple is included in ""something""
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 02:29 pm
When I tried to talk to him about it he told me to take up a ceramic class or something to take up my time.

How did you feel when he stated that? "Sex life" has nothing to do with filling in time, it's about being intimate with your SOH.

I see two issues.

1) Time away and therefore you feel alone for the most part.
2) Non existent sex life.

You certainly should be independent and have hobbies and be your own person, I understand however, hardly ever seeing your Husband would make you feel that you are alone, 1 person not 2.

If I was you? I would "not" go to these two people's place for a 3 some. Doing something on the spur through frustration is not the answer to solving the above issues. You in addition, know nothing about these people what so ever, there is a reason why they started texting and texting and texting their own greed, to score . They could have engaged with 10's of people without protection in addition. They could be into bondage or things that shocks the shirt out of you and you want to run but can't get away, lots of danger signs there, yet, you are seeing a bit of "excitement". So in that, that is what you are missing from your life, speak to him AGAIN tell him perhaps of some fantasies you are having, desires you are having, make a move yourself, on, your, husband.
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Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 02:52 pm
Many couples are seperated over a longer period because of work.
Merchant sailors are gone for months ,pilots and stewardesses are gone a lot, many others.
The very first thing for a marriage to last under this circumstances is TRUST.
Stay away from these people. Stop any contact right away.
Look around and you will find interesting things to do. Find some people to share things with as a group, it can be art, books, sport there are so many things.
And when you have made your life more interesting you will have a much better sexlife with your husbond and it hopefully will be easier for you to be alone now and then.
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Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 10:30 am
Stop whatever connection you have with these people, they would just complicate things more. Just have a heart to heart talk with your husband, may be you both need a time off. A date night maybe to bring back the spark.
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Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 03:24 pm
As great a line as ehBeth has - I am taking a wild guess but I think he meant for ceramics as something as an interest for you. He works - what do you do? Not that I mean you have to work, but you should have something that is of interest to you as well.

Now as far as the missing out or lacking sex that is a different story - does he know you mean lack of intimacy or just that you are bored? How clear were you with him.

Or use ehBeth's line at least then he will get the jist it isn't just boredom.
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Reply Tue 21 Feb, 2017 10:04 pm
I wouldn't do it
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Reply Thu 15 Oct, 2020 01:58 pm
I know it is old post but is this for real? You are asking us if you should go to a swingers house to get high and have sex and risk pregnancy or an STD because your husband is working to get a higher paying job to support the family as he is probably thinking it will be for a few years then you all are on easy street.

If you even thought of this for a second you have issues.
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