Different ways to ask 'how old are you?'

I would never ask in such a way, but if I was asking and trying to be very polite at the same time, then:

Would you mind telling me your age?

Where do you come up with this stuff? Is it all from an English teacher? If so, scary stuff.

The two sample sentences are ludicrous.

Lordy's suggestion is fine. Or how about, "Do you mind if I ask you how old you are?"

I know, he's horrible. Yes, they're from that charlatan. What can I do? I feel sorry for his *cough cough* students. Some people really think he's the messiah of English. Yes, they're that clueless.

Oh, by the way, I just posted Lordy's and your answers on the board. Guess his reaction. He accused me of forging those comments. He called me a fraud. I had to capture the whole screen. He's a horrible human being.

Whether or not they make sense i wouldn't venture to say. Yes, one could allege that they mean "how old are you." No, they do not sound at all natural, and no native speaker of English would use such expressions. As far as i'm concerned, that's not only not good English, it's not English at all.

Asking someone his or her age is considered rather rude in western societies, and one especially does not ask a woman her age. If one has a burning desire to know that, it is perhaps more tactful to ask an acquaintance or relative of the person in question how old that person is. In many contexts, asking someone how old they are is construed as intentional rudeness.

"dont you miss the passenger pigeons?"

No, i use a 12 gauge with the choke off. Very few of those suckers get away. If i can manage to get really close to them suckers, then i go full choke.

Im sure our OP is now totally confused .

He seems like a nice guy (?), though, so not to worry?

Lordy, my poop English teacher visited this page. He thinks the guy in your profile picture is you. Anyways... even after reading everybody's comments with his own eyes, he still accuses me of making the whole thing up.

Yeah, don't mind me

I've just checked and it's definitely me.

Here is a picture I just took of me while I was asleep.....

LOL