"As happy as a clam at high tide."
"Just as happy as a little girl."
As nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
She runs faster that a Misissippi virgin.
"How ya doin'?"
"Fair to middlin'." (A common response in Texas. It was originally a grade of cotton based on the length of the fiber.)
A woman in Mobile asked me where I was from.
"Texas," I replied.
"You've come a fer piece."
Mark Twain said, "Southerners speak music..."
However, no one mentioned which tune we are singing. . .
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting
or moving to the South, there are a few things you should
know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:
The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes, the South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has double last names, the South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy, the South has Jesse Helms.
The North has an ambulance, the South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races, the South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.
The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters, the South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt, the South has the Bible Belt.
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store....Don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," as in "big'ol truck or "big'ol boy".
Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that many 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits! :wink:
to describe a blowhard
Hes all paint and no engine
Hes all vines and no taters
Hes all hat and no posse.
or
All hat and no cattle.
Dumb - couldn't pour water out of a boot if the direction were written on the heel.
Smart - smarter than the average bear.
in Oklahoma Ive heard it as high praise when somebody sez
'Hes about half smart"
An intense downpour: a frog strangler
This thread is funny as hell! Gimme more!
Somebody posted a definition of a "post" turtle. Anybody know it?
It aint easy if the chicken aint greasy.
A post turtle is a turtle someone has stranded on top of a fence post. It is generally used as a metaphor for some one who is out of his/her depth or place.
hmmmm. Marking. Virginia, of course, is not considered the deep South. I am familiar with fine as frog's hair. Have to think about this.
Taken from "More How To Speak Southern" written by Steve Mitchell
Addled: Confused, disoriented, as in the case of Northern sociologists who try to make sense out of the South, "What's wrong with that Yankee? He acts right addled."
Afar: In a state of combustion. "Call the far department. That house is afar."
Ahr: What we breathe, also a unit of time made up of 60 minutes. "They should've been here about an ahr ago."
Ar: Possessive pronoun. "That's AR dawg, not yours."
Ary: Not any. "He hadn't got ary cent."
Awfullest: The worst. "That's the awfullest lie you evr told me in your life."
Ar: Possessive pronoun. "That's AR dawg, not yours."
small correction:
Mid-Mississippi : "That's AR dawg, not urine."
tAR-them roun thangs unner yer Hemi
Cat fur to make kitten britches. My mom's response to one of her students who said, "What fer"...
Haven't seen neither hide nor hair of that man.(whatever that means)
I've heard all these in the South except the berries one.
Go Whole Hog (Go for it all)
Go off half-cocked (have only part of the facts)
Barking up the wrong tree (completely wrong)
Get your feathers ruffled (pouting)
Go back on your raisin' (deny heritage)
Ain't that the berries! (that is mighty fine!)
Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time (busy)
Every dog has a few fleas (no one is perfect)
Don't count your chickens until they hatch (see results first)
Some folks are alright until they get two pair of britches
Don't let your mouth overload your tail (talking too much)
Give down the country (give them a piece of your mind)
Do go on (You must be kidding)
