Post first date question!!! Interested or not??

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Hi! I met this guy on tinder and we talked for about 2 weeks before he asked me to meet up, we seemed to get along well. We went for a drink and a bie to eat on the first date. I cusually introduced myself with kisses on the cheeks but felt very nervous about meeting him. The date lasted for about 1hour45minutes but I'm not sure that it went that well. First of all nerves got into me and I regret not talking and expressing myself as much, he probably thought I was boring or uninterested. He was very talkative, maybe a bit too much lol talked about his family, nothing too detailed, work, passions and friends. Not sure if was nervous or uninterested. At some point hr checked his watch so I figured he wanted to leave. I causually asked him if everything was OK and if he had to go. He told me no that we could stay if I wanted to and so we did for another 30 minutes. The date did feel a bit awkward for NY part at least but I'd like to give it another shot I mean we do have a lot in common and maybe nerves just kicked in ? He's from Sweden so not sure what their dating etiquette is. The date ended with us walking together until we parted ways and said have a nice evening to each other with a kiss of the cheeks. He texted me about an hour later saying he hoped I got home alright and that he wasn't sure if that's we both had in mind as a first date/meeting.then he said thank you nonetheless for the pleasant meeting. What do you think that means ? Would he have followed up so quickly if he wasn't interested?

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,937 • Replies: 9

@Jessica1234,

Well, ask him if he's interested in another date. If he doesn't give you a definite 'yes', take it as a no and move on to someone else.

2 Replies

@roger,

He hasn't asked me out on a second date, waiting it out for now

2 Replies

@Jessica1234,

Roger has suggested you ask the man out for a date. That is also my advice.

0 Replies

@Jessica1234,

If I am very interested in someone after a first date, I will usually set up a second date in the next day or two. People make quick impressions after first dates and then scurry on, sometimes without thinking.

I agree with the other posters. If you are interested, you should tell him.

I would respond very positively to a woman who expressed interest. If I had any interest, I would say yes. If I didn't, I would be very gracious and kind (I have certainly been on the other side of this interaction).

In the 21st century, you would think that half of the time it would be the woman who expresses interest... yet it doesn't seem to work that way in the real world.

If you have interest in this man, you should write him to tell him. Say that you enjoyed the date and that you would like to see him again. He might politely decline, or you might go out again and end up falling madly in love and end up in 50 years with your grandkids on your lap.

Life is for living, who knows what will happen. Just do it.

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@Jessica1234,

Sounds a little dismissive, and it makes me wonder what HE was expecting for a first date. Move on to the next guy. I also wonder how old you are, because the 40-50 yr olds on those dating sites are just a nest of predators and narcissists. The 20-40 crowd is still pretty OK. There may be a better way to meet men than online sites, even though "everyone's doing it." Maybe I am just "old school." LOL. Good luck.

1 Reply

@Violet35,

Violet, are you suggesting that the traditional gender roles are correct?

If a man has interest in a woman, he will ask her out again even if she hasn't expressed interest. Why shouldn't a woman do the same thing? If neither person asks the other one out even though they both have interest, that would be sad (and a little ridiculous).

It seems to me that the idea that it is the man's responsibility to take the initiative doesn't make so much sense now in the 21st century where we value equality.

Why shouldn't she ask this man out?

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@Jessica1234,

I finally decided to text him over last weekend and we text back and forth since then, mostly him initiating. He hasnt asked me out on a second sate however and I don't understand why. Should I simply ask him to hang out ?

1 Reply

@roger,

roger wrote:

Well, ask him if he's interested in another date. If he doesn't give you a definite 'yes', take it as a no and move on to someone else.

roger and I suggested this nearly a week ago

ask the guy if he'd be interested in going out on another date

__

I'm not sure why you didn't understand this last week.

0 Replies

@Jessica1234,

Jessica1234 wrote:

He hasnt asked me out on a second sate

why didn't you ask him out?

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Post first date question!!! Interested or not??

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