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Tue 9 Feb, 2016 04:01 pm
I’m 22 and I have a huge crush on my English professor at college. He's about 30, and I'm pretty sure he's single (due to Facebook stalking....)
I think he might be attracted to me too, but obviously I don’t want to look through rose tinted glasses and see ‘what I want to see’. I’ve only known him for about 4 months; he’s never taught me before.
I first wondered whether he liked me after he kept tripping over his words when I asked him a question one day; he said he was sorry, that he’d been talking for a few hours (which is perfectly plausible, I know…..although I hadn’t seen him trip over his words with other students. He hasn’t done this since though).
I don’t have any ‘concrete’ evidence to judge from, because he hasn’t made any obvious flirty comments (i.e. ‘you look good’), as I know he shouldn’t given his professionalism.
I guess what makes me think he likes (or *might like) me is that he always seems willing to give me extra help (which I don’t ask for), e.g. offer to spend time going over something with me, chasing up a book I want. I know that lots of professors do this, but I just have this intuition when we speak to each other that there is a mutual attraction…
For example, the first time he spoke to me in the halls, there was this moment where we stood quite close together and were just both smiling at each other. There was an occasion when I bumped into him, and he stopped to talk to me for 10, 15, I don’t know how many minutes….
I guess the real thing that made me wonder whether he likes me was a few weeks ago. I was sitting in the library, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him enter the room; I knew he must have seen me because I was straight in his line of vision. He all of a sudden disappeared (hid?) behind a book case, and I thought he wanted to avoid me for some reason…But a few seconds later, he appeared next to me and said hey, asked how I was. When I said I was stressed over a looming deadline, he said, ‘oh, should I leave you alone?’, to which I replied no, it was fine, and then we talked for a while (not sure how long, 15/20 minutes?). I think it’s the whole hiding, then appearing next to me thing which gets me…..
I know I have very little ‘evidence’, but what do you guys think?
@katie94,
He might, seeing as they are actual human beings and have feelings and desires like the rest of us.
He would also be fired for cause if he pursued anything and would most likely never be able to get another job in academia again.
So forget it.
@jespah,
I'm not sure but I think when a student is not being taught by a professor, it is allowable but I might be off-base about that. A friend of mine dated her professor (and eventually married him) but they started dating afterward..later on...waited 'til she left the campus.
@Ragman,
It is certainly possible afterwards but it might be a requirement in the school for her to be completely done and gone (your mileage may vary). Certainly a major league, classic forbidden activity when the teacher-student relationship is active.
@katie94,
Don't let it go any further. For both your sakes. I wouldn't read anything in to his behavior. Don't get swept up the fantasy. When you graduate, feel free to look him up. I doubt he wants to kill his career. BOUNDARIES are a good thing.