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impossible to know if friendzoned or not..?

 
 
sas1000
 
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 08:15 am
I met this girl from uni in September and we've been flirting seriously since December. We've realized that our life's are almost identical which brought this inside joke together that if something applies to one of us it applies to the other (basically we got really close and I differentiated myself from the other guys).
But here's how my doubts started...
I am currently ending a 3 year relationship with another girl. We were having some alone time from studying and she asked me how it was going with my Gf and I said it was basically at an end. She gave me useful advice and talked about how she had this crush for this guy that was ignoring her.. Now I don't understand why she mentioned this? When I tried to get more info the next day she changed the conversation...If I was deeply friendzoned she would have continued on the subject, no? Is it because I had a Gf at the time she wanted to make herself appear as hard to get and the fact that this guy ignores her is her way to say that there's an opening for me?
If this "incident" hadn't happened no doubts specially with all the "innocent touchings" going on. Now she left for vacation on the other side of the planet and SHE is the one texting me and sending pics. I'm trying not to act too desperate, but the flirting game is strong.
What do you think? am I friendzoned?
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 08:52 am
@sas1000,
Of course she mentioned it. You weren't free at the time. What was she supposed to do, just sit around and wait for you to end that relationship?

If your older relationship is through (and shame on you for sprinting to the next one and leaving the other person hanging on; it's cruel), then ask this other girl out.

Don't be surprised if she says no.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 09:00 am
@sas1000,
This is not complicated. Why not ask her? That is the only true way to find out. The downside is minimal.
Suck it up and ask. You may be very happy with the results. Can you handle that?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:32 am
My advice is solely based on the previous relationship being totally over.
sas1000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:43 am
@Ragman,
thank you for taking the time to answer and yes the previous relationship is 100 percent over.
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:46 am
@sas1000,
You're welcome.

I wish you good luck.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:47 am
@sas1000,
sas1000 wrote:
She gave me useful advice and talked about how she had this crush for this guy that was ignoring her.. Now I don't understand why she mentioned this?


why did you tell her about your girlfriend (ever) ?

it's likely the same reason she told you about the guy she was/is interested in

__

it's conversation

__

Quote:
Is it because I had a Gf at the time she wanted to make herself appear as hard to get and the fact that this guy ignores her is her way to say that there's an opening for me?


no and no

ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:48 am
@sas1000,
Quote:
I am currently ending a 3 year relationship with another girl


have you finished breaking up?

leave the other girl alone until you're completely out of the prior relationship and have spent some time on your own
sas1000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:54 am
@jespah,
I would normally agree with you, however, I am not chasing a random girl but actually see more in her than what the eye has to offer.
And to clarify I was telling her that my relation was over with my ex and she then talks about the a guy who she's only mentioned at that precise time and never talked about it again even though I asked the following day to know how she was doing because he was ignoring her. I was just seeking what it meant.. Is she friendzoning me by pouring her problems out or telling me she isn't a given and to fight for her, that was my question..
I would never ask someone to wait for the relationship to end and I agree that racing to another girl seems a bit disrespectful but I am obsessed about this girl to the point of asking strangers on a forum to help me, this is usually the opposite of what I do.
0 Replies
 
sas1000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:55 am
@ehBeth,
She actually asked how it was going.. than she mentioned the guy
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:56 am
@sas1000,
how did she know you have a girlfriend? was she guessing that you have a girlfriend?
sas1000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 10:58 am
@ehBeth,
thanks for the advice the relationship has been over for 2 weeks now, but you're right I should take some time on my own and reflect and maybe putting too much pressure on this situation..take it slowly and without pressure
0 Replies
 
sas1000
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 11:00 am
@ehBeth,
We met through mutual friends and we have been talking back and forth, never lied being in a relationship
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Feb, 2016 11:08 am
@sas1000,
one of the possibilities is that she is/was interested in you

another is that she flirted because you were in a relationship and therefore safe to flirt with

__

take some time for yourself

relax about things

there is no rush to start another relationship

try to cut back on the obsession talk/thinking - there is nothing good about that
0 Replies
 
 

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