. . . The bible claims the earth was created by god some 7,000 years ago . . .
The Most Reverend disciple Ishmali Camuwundra was born in the city of Hanuwumdra in 7 BC (Pastafarian Year 68), the son of an Indian convert to the new religion of Pastafarianism. At the time, the city of Hanuwumdra was being built, and his father was one of the workers at the city. Whilst living there, he became indoctrinated, and quickly spread his newfound belief in the FSM to his son. In his youth, Ishmali would stay up many nights, writing on parchments of new ways to glorify the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
When Ishmali was eight, his father was killed when the gold dome of the Temple of the FSM collapsed in as workers were constructing the altar. Subsequently, since he no longer had any family to speak of, Ishmali was taken in by the aging religious leader Ragu, who taught him the sacred ideals of the FSM. And Ishmali grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with the Flying Spaghetti Monster and men.
Just as the city of Hanuwumdra was finally completed, and just as Ishmali turned 33, his mentor Ragu died after a long illness. On his deathbed, Ragu predicted the coming of a Chosen Linguini, whom the people would know when he came, but the old prophet died before he could say the name of the coming one. Consequently, there was much discussion as to whom this Chosen Linguini could be. After much debate, and suggestions that it could be the late prophet Mosey or the Pastafarian community as a whole, a few members of the faith began to feel that Ishmali Camuwundra might be the correct candidate.
The reasons for this were plausible: Ishmali had always been a loyal follower of the FSM, and had authored many tracts about the good the FSM did. He was a faithful pupil of Ragu, and had been named as one of the candidates to succeed the old prophet as religious head of the community upon Ragu's death. He even became popular enough to be known by name to all in the city of Hanuwumdra.
But it didn't become obvious for some until Ishmali came out of his 30-day seclusion after Ragu's death. Over the course of a single month, there had occurred a startling change in the young man's appearance: he had grown gaunt and pale, his striking brown eyes had grown jaundiced and glassy, and, most striking of all, his luxurious jet-black hair had turned the colour of pasta. This was enough for some to start praising him as the Chosen Linguini.
Ishmali, however, did not make any announcements. He said not a word about his supposed messiah-dom, but instead continued to live life as if it were uninterrupted. If a woman shouted, "Oh, Chosen Linguini!" in the streets at him, he would simply nod at her as though she were a friendly neighbor and be on his way. If a man knelt before him in the street and begged Ishmali to bless him, he would just pat the man on the head and walk away; the man left marveling over the wonderful sagacity of the Chosen Linguini.
Alas; even though Ishmali did nothing, the incessant worship of him by the people was enough to send the city's new religious leader, Subh-i-Wayh, into a frenzy. Fearing for his position, he ordered Ishmali arrested. Trying him in the Temple of the FSM, a vote by his fellow citizens found Ishmali innocent, but Subh-i-Wayh had him executed anyway.
At the dawn of the day following his arrest, Ishmali was led out to a large pot, where he was laid in. Asked if he had any last requests, he murmured from the pot, "Forgive... forgive them, Flying Spaghetti Monster; they know... they know not what they do." A moment later, spaghetti was poured over him, then water was put in, and finally a fire was lit under the pot. Ishmali was cooked alive as all the people watched in horror. A triumphant Subh-i-Wayh later ate that same pasta, Ishmali and all.
After this, the ones who had revered Ishmali as the Chosen Linguini, now calling themselves Linguinists, left Hanuwumdra for a place where they could worship the dead man in peace. The rest of the city, obviously not believing Ishmali was the coming one but disgusted that such a fate would happen to a man who had done nothing wrong at all, rose up against Subh-i-Wayh, banishing him to the mountains, where he most presumably died.
The people then installed Nin Jhah, a righteous man who was well-known in the community, as their new religious leader. While not actually worshipping Ishmali as a god-like figure, they, instead, ever after revered his numerous writings on the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and kept his Word always in their hearts.
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Complexity of DNA? The whole universe is complex.