Am I too needy

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Ive been with my partner for 8 months. Everything was going great at the beginning and communication was on point. Im the kind of person that likes to be in touch through out the day through texts, calls etc.
We have moved in together about 3 months ago, slowly things became more difficult. We fight a lot, he hardly ever talks to me through out the day and when i do try to bring it up he tells me that i need to stop going on about it. I dont ask for him to text me 24/7 just a few texts thats it.
he does tell me that he loves me all the time and how much i mean to him.
saying it and acting on it are two different things.
im always anxious, sometimes i think its easirr if we werent living together that maybe he wouldnt be the way he is now.
communication is important to me, my partner is more to me than just a bf, but a best friend also.
he says sorry and hes trying. Im starting to lose my patience with him. Any advice?

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,168 • Replies: 11

[+4] - jespah - 01/27/2016Stop depending so much on texting and only use it and phone calls for necessities. Be busy enough with whatever (work, school, chores, friends, hobbies, exercise, hell, play Star Trek Online if it...

@shordeel87,

Maybe he has a demanding job where phone calls and texts are more difficult or not permitted.
Despite moving in together after 5 month, you still don't know each other very well and maybe you need to find out what he wants in a relationship and what you want.

Most men aren't talkers, period. They can be loving in many ways, but aren't good at communicating. Now that you live together, maybe he thinks that talking at night is sufficient for him. Maybe you are too needy and call/text him too much. Who knows?

Bottom line, you need to talk about this and if you lose your patience with him over this, you probably got bigger fish to fry.

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@CalamityJane,

Thanks for your answer.
I personally dont think im clingy ot over bearing. I dont talk to him at all anymore during the day.
I have spoken to him about this and it doesnt end well.
Thanks again for your reply

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@shordeel87,

U probably cant help it but trust me you are suffocating him. Things change when you are living together but that doesn't mean he loves you less in anyway.

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@shordeel87,

Stop depending so much on texting and only use it and phone calls for necessities. Be busy enough with whatever (work, school, chores, friends, hobbies, exercise, hell, play Star Trek Online if it floats your boat) and this problem will go away.

Right now, you've got way too much time on your hands.

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@shordeel87,

A question: what were you like prior to meeting? What was your anxiety level like before you met him?

Are you working or what is your daily routine? Are you at home during the day?

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@shordeel87,

Ask yourself what you fight about "a lot". I imagine it's not one thing but quite a few things.

8 months, is still infant stages in a relationship and after 5, you moved in together, (nothing wrong with that) however, at least 12hrs a day, you are together and I believe he is trying to state that to you, you don't need the constant text messages and love you's daily he lives with you.

Anxiety is something that really needs to be helped with, more than likely it's your anxiety that is "needy" and needs feeding but in the end, you are going to push him away. Chill a bit, leave the conversations to when you are together, something to talk about, want him to show you love? Chill a bit, give him a hug when he walks in the door.

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@shordeel87,

If you want to know if you are needy, do a search for such:

signs in men

15 signs in women

4 styles of attachment

And see if anything there rings a chord with you.

There's plenty of other sites around, they were just the among the first on the list.

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@shordeel87,

shordeel87 wrote:

Im the kind of person that likes to be in touch through out the day through texts, calls etc.

cut that out

you're supposed to be grownups

grownups don't need to be in touch all day long

calls/texts during a work/school day are for emergencies

get on with your own life asap

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@shordeel87,

For those that have given me advise, thanks. I dont agree with all of it.
And no i dont sit at home waiting for him to reply nor do i stair at my phone aimlessly for hours.
I have a busy job just like him. Sending 2 texts a day doesnt make me clingy.
living together does change the dynanic in a relstionship as both people grow up and become more mature through the relationship.
At the end of the day, if the relationship is great, pitty fights don't matter.
we all have our flaws. And i admit i have mine. I would rather care enough than not care at all.

2 Replies

@shordeel87,

Sweet, you asked if you are "too needy".

You have said you are not clingy at all.

Clingy, needy are the same things.

Yes, you are too needy, you expect text message even though he's coming home to you.

Sorry

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@shordeel87,

shordeel87 wrote:

At the end of the day, if the relationship is great, pitty fights don't matter.

sorry kiddo, but it's often the little/petty stuff that kills relationships

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