I ask u...

Sounds like a good plan.

Tq PL....

If you mean that your husband is aware that you are having an affair, then I am betting that your lover's wife is not aware that he is having an affair, based on everything having to be at his convenience and on his terms.

Yeah, you wanna bet? This is what he may tell you, but if this is the case, why doesn't he simply leave the woman and then he would be free to hook up with you on either his terms or your terms.

I would second the ending it suggestion.

Tq coastalrat....his wife is unaware more to do with financial reasons he's both well to do and high profile,my husband aware due to his inadequacies. He loves her very much, but says I can so easily ruin him...that hurt the first time I heard it but in retrospect made a lot of sense. He's had a sexless marriage for a very long time and has stepped out before but found it an empty experience.

Due to our mental/emotional connection this is somehow different for him and he's afraid of his emotions....He's a control freak.

But coming back to me I'm a giver and wish to just be there for him ....yet I'm losing a very big part of myself because he's just not there....He's getting better in terms of frequency of talking with me but it's been 2 months since I've seen him.....his work life is ridiculously hectic and he travels a lot...when he does he's constantly in touch cos he has his space.

I appreciate this platform and am sorry if I sound loserish....I just can't wrap my head around letting go..it actually frightens me...something I've never felt before.

I will put this bluntly, but preface it by saying I do not wish to sound as cruel as this will sound.

You are what you are to him. You are there for his sexual satisfaction. When HE needs it. If that is what you want, then you will just have to deal with being at his beck and call. Sorry, but that is what you are buying into in my opinion.

(And you do not know he has a sexless marriage. He tells you this, but the truth is often very different.)

Tq again ...Ur bluntness is what I need right now. Amazing how intelligent people can cause so much trauma to themselves.
I am going to think about what you have said and make a decision once and for all. My heartfelt appreciation to you...

He is in a committed relationship, sexless or not. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too. You are secondary in his life, no matter how strong the connection. How does that feel?

There is a whole lot of things missing in your life screaming at you for that attention that you are seeking and so you are seeking, that.

There is more than one thing you are seeking, emotional connection, mental connection, sexual chemistry and experimentation of sensuality.

Can one man provide this? Possibly. Can a married man provide this? No.

Your husband can't provide it, a married man can't provide it so what are you going to do with the rest of your life? Jump to the next guy and stay with your husband? Finding that he also can't fulfil all that is missing in your life?

Or get real and realise that you are in a sexless marriage, emotional and mental and sensual "less" marriage that is a complete waste of your life, unless you can look deep inside as to when your relationship started and note that a lot of that was actually there at the beginning, just got lost, work on regaining it, seek professional help, or simply if that's not the case, walk away and find yourself and a partner that is single.

You know full well that he is giving you some glory, (the affair man), by being in a cushy position financially, some power therefore some power over you and in that, all his way, you are not his first, nor his last it's easy for him. He'll ditch you before you ditch him due to the neediness of emotional and mental stimulation, which means constant communication, he's not that great in bed so you know, there is a component missing that you are already missing.

Go it alone... Find a connection that you are after with someone single and enjoy the rest of your life and at the same time, his wife doesn't get cheated on and your husband gets to hopefully find a lovely lady that he wants to have sex with .. Win / Win.

Am aware that he wants his cake and eat it too...secondary to him doesn't bother me. I'm aware of his priorities work, family , love.....

U r perceptive...I have debated the jumping to the next guy but it's Soooo not me!!! 're my husband..we are now like siblings and comfortable in raising our children together.

're affair man yes he has power over me..I gave it! I've let him go several times only for us to come back ...feel like boomerangs!!! Glory none dear friend , I seek none.
All the lesses( mental, sex ,emotional and sensual) apply to both of us!!

Have spoken to hubby about him finding someone who can / will make him happy ...n he's not interested. Happy to be a monk and support his family which makes him extra special..did we have amazingness at the outset...nope !! We had comfort...

As for me I think I woke up to find I've never been so alive...now how I should box myself into a coffin while soooo alive remains to be seen...

Tq for ur input...

I ask u....

How old are you now?

We change as women, men know that a well, cycles, yearnings.

I'm guessing your husband knows that and it will die down and he will be able to just have his "friend" by his side eventually.

Sounds as if he has accepted what you intend and are doing.

You remind me of a past member here, Elsa?

Cheating is nasty and if you think no one gets hurt your wrong.

He has a wife you have a husband, you are not free to sleep around, marriage is a contract, and if your not happy leave.
you obviously don't value yourself and have no respect for others.
cheaters are vile, end of.

I said you are a whore !