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Fri 22 Jan, 2016 04:30 pm
IM FRUSTRATED!
We are both 27. i have never had a gf before her so she took my V card at 26.
We are together for 14 months and we had sex less then 20 times since. We had sex 4 times in first 5 months together. We have never moved in together. So its not like i have a lot of practice...
She almost never initiates it and i can tell that sometimes she just clearly avoids it. We never did it twice in one day not even on vacation.
Im afraid thats because im bad at sex. She is my first so i have no experiences and cant compare it to any ex gf. She has never reached an orgasm with me.
I even asked her what should I do, what she likes and she said i shouldnt worry because she has never came with any ex boyfriend and that its not a problem. I asked if she came when she masturbates and she said YES. i dont know... maybe she just lied to me to make me feel better. I come everytime and she doesnt. I also think Im not really skillful - we have 3 positions - missionary, from behind, and her on top and thats it. im average around 6''. We go down on each other but she doesnt come. The only good thing is that i can last as long as I want to. i have good control - we always have sex at least for half an hour.
Its frustrating because she can go weeks without sex (up to 7 is a record) and many times there is nothing happening for 4,5,6 weeks in arow and if i dont mention sex she wouldnt say anything at all. There is kissing and hand holding and other affection from her side. but with sex she isnt bothered.
My confidence is lower every passing week without sex. You can understand my frustration - finally have a gf (a hot one), im young, but she is not bothered with sex at all. Do you think its because she doesnt get any satisfaction out of it? She never guide me, tell me what she likes, to go slower/faster/hareder. NOTHING, NEVER! Any simmilar experiences? What should I do? I talk about the sexless problem to her many times, told her its important to me but since its apparently not to her she doesnt make an effort. But when I asked her why she is not into sex she doenst have any reasons or real answers... maybe she is just not into me??? id like to hear a womens perspective on this... or anyones really... tnx
@ablkabl,
Ask.
Ask again.
BTW, since she apparently can get satisfaction from masturbation, why not try that?
the way you talk makes me think you're full of ****.. obviously you have a tiny penis and you're bad at fingering/licking her. Get better at sex.
@Jaheen100,
Jaheen, in your profile you state that you are looking to improve your communication skills.
I therefore suggest that being nice would be a good place to start.
@ablkabl,
I know you said you have oral sex, but maybe you should focus more on that for her. Read about it online (lots of good advice out there) some woman have a difficult time reaching an orgasm on the inside. Focus more outside for about a half an hour and see what happens.
Not having an orgasm through sexual intercourse is not at all uncommon.
It might be that you are putting pressure both on yourself and her thinking this is "how it should be"
Perhaps she doesn't want intercourse, not because she doesn't desire it, but because she (and these may or may not apply):
Is tired/frustrated that she's feeling she needs to orgasm though intercourse, like there's something "wrong" with her.
Is tired/frustrated at you, or any man, feeling like they have to prove themselves in some way.
You both might have a better experience (not meaning that she orgasms) but simply having sex and enjoying it for what it is in the moment.
It's not a race or competition. It's supposed to be enjoyable, bring people closer together, bond them and hopefully be fun.
If she hasn't indicated this is a problem for her, don't make it one.
Not to be TMI, but I'm a 57 year old female who's had great sex for decades, and have not once had an orgasm through intercourse. I like it, it's just not my trigger.
One thing I have going for me is that I've never once felt that was abnormal. I've always told partners the way it is, and I think it's taken performance pressure off them, and frustration for me, thinking "Stop trying so hard"
Let it be an easy thing, being intimate with her. She may greatly appreciatate it if you tell her you're going to stop trying, and want to just be close, which includes intercourse.
@ablkabl,
ablkabl wrote:
she said i shouldnt worry because she has never came with any ex boyfriend and that its not a problem.
This pretty much says it all.
You two should be like rabbits right now. Seven weeks without sex? That's not right for your ages.
Your GF may just have a low sex drive. That's not going to change. OR she is masturbating and doesn't feel she needs intercourse. Another thing is that her heart may be elsewhere. Time for a real discussion with her about all this.
As far as you feeling as though you don't know how to make love to a woman, there's lots of information on the web about that. Start doing some research. Just google "how to make love to a woman." Don't use porn as a learning tool.
Try not to feel that the goal of all your romantic gestures have to lead into sexual intercourse. Take showers or baths together. Massage each other. Eat dessert in bed. Laugh more together.
Oh geez. Should have looked at the date of the OP.
@ablkabl,
MOST women don't have orgasms through sexual intercourse alone, so it really doesn't matter how long you last.
The key to her orgasm is through her clit. How long do you go down on her before you give up? Have you tried just using your fingers on her clit? Also, how long do you guys do foreplay (i.e. being sexual without touching the genitals) for before you start?
@ablkabl,
Your putting a lot of pressure on yourself ! No orgasm with intercorse is very common. Stress in the bedroom kills the mood for both. Enjoy sex for the pleasure and not the ending. Start with OPEN communication...lots of it. She already said that she doesn't need an intercorse orgasm to be satisfied. Many people tend to believe if "XYZ" happens then the sex will be good. It doesn't always work out like that....work on your communication/bond with each other and it will all work itself out. If you truly insist she must have an orgasm then go the oral sex route.
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