Honestly can't tell what's wrong with me

Forums: Relationships, Anxiety, Love, Mental Health, Depression
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I'm still pretty bummed because my therapist basically said (in a professional way) that there's not really anything to treat since I'm functional, but I feel like my thoughts say otherwise. I'm kind of a workaholic, and when I'm not working, I do things to please others (being a good daughter, family member, friend), then at the end of the day I know nothing about myself but how much I like to overthink.

I've had a few hobbies over the years but I just can't seem to stick with any. I end up feeling bad that I'm not "good" at it or I'll somehow lose my passion for it. Shows, movies, books music often sound and look like white noise to me. I feel like I'm bad at connecting with others because of how disinterested I am in most things. I sorta feel like maybe I could connect with older people (I'm in my early 20s) but I'm not entirely sure. I just want to be able to like something and feel happy about it. I've felt pretty numb the past few months, but not necessarily depressed.

Another thing is my boyfriend is veryyy into things I don't particularly like. I think he can tell when I'm bored or just being polite. He has a way of sort of talking at me about things and lately it's been hard to feel the connection with him. I sort of feel like giving up on us but I can't bare the thought of hurting him, especially considering he has struggled with severe anxiety and depression before. I want to save our relationship but I'm scared we're not right for each other, but I'm hoping it's just me right now that's the problem

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@njbenda,

I wonder why your therapist hasn't suggested medication. Could you see your family physician and talk to him/her about how you're feeling? I really do think you should see someone - and not to get medicated to the hilt, but sometimes there's a chemical or hormonal imbalance.

If it were my daughter experiencing this, I'd strongly encourage her to see physician.

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@njbenda,

Listen to what I say here, because I am being serious.

TAKE UP GOLF.

If the NJ in your screen name means New Jersey, you are in luck. We have lots of great golf courses in this state...including the one most often voted number one in the United States.

Just put up with lousy golf for a while...you'll get better. And you will develop a passion you never thought possible.

Give it a shot...you've got nothing to lose.

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@njbenda,

Yeah you can be functional and still can benefit from a therapist.

Have you tried to get another therapist? Sometimes one therapist is just not the right fit for you. If you don't feel right, then there seems to me to be stuff still to work out.

I would not necessarily reach out for medication - it can help some people but you really need to work with someone that is very knowledgeable in that area. I do agree reaching out to your medical doctor - s/he might be able to give you another recommendation for a different therapist and also check you out to ensure there is not something physical impacting you as well.

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@njbenda,

Workaholics are people pleasers. That even shows up in your romantic relationship when you stay with a guy even when you feel like leaving. He’s just another “ project” for you to do, and you are getting bored with it all.

You may have a little depression going on, be ADHD, or just not found your passionate self yet.

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Don't be unhappy to protect someone else's feelings.

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@njbenda,

As far as your relationship is concerned, it is good to talk about the issues to be sorted and showering the relation.

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@njbenda,

I know exactly what's wrong with you. You're a people pleaser.

It's causing emotional and physiological strain from constantly staying quiet about what you want.

Let me tell you something. Guys aren't perceptive. Unless you tell him, he may be the sweetest guy there is,but he won't get why you're upset.

I was a people pleaser too. And a perfectionist. I had a job at Amazon, which I basically burned out of because I made myself crazy. First, I tried to make an impossible pick speed of 120 items. Then at stow, there were all these rules about where you could shelve things, so I basically became paralyzed trying to make people happy. I was losing my job, and my nerves were a mess.

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Honestly can't tell what's wrong with me

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