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How to overcome social anxiety?

 
 
iLevan
 
Reply Fri 26 Jun, 2015 09:22 pm
I'm wondering how I can overcome social anxiety. I am a 20-year-old guy living in a house with 5 other gay men, including my boyfriend. I am the youngest in the household by a longshot. Every now and then my roommates will invite their other friends to come over to play video games and board games (like Dungeons and Dragons), and their friends are all also their age. I can relate to them when it comes to video games, since I am a pretty big gamer myself. But I always feel as if everyone dismisses me as this young and naive kid who doesn't understand a lot of what they talk about because I'm simply way younger than them; most of them are in their late-20's to mid-30's. I'm also relatively insecure about my appearance (I still have my braces but am getting them off soon enough).

How can I overcome my social anxiety and change their naive impression of me and that I can relate to them even though I am way younger? Thanks for your input!
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 1,424 • Replies: 6
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Jun, 2015 04:03 am
@iLevan,
A few things. One is to enlist the help of your boyfriend. These are his friends, too (I believe), and he should be presenting a somewhat united front with you. When the jerky behavior starts, he has to help you, and step in. "Oh, c'mon, iLevan is a great player!" That sort of thing.

I am not saying the burden is all his, but that's a part about being in a serious relationship, and you are if you're living together, pretty much by definition. So he needs to step up his boyfriend game.

You can also deflect at least some of that. It's a gaming situation, so it's competitive. "C'mon, you know my dwarf with his spells can beat your human archer anyday."

And be a better player. Smoke 'em on the playing field.
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Krumple
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 27 Jun, 2015 04:34 am
@iLevan,
iLevan wrote:

I'm wondering how I can overcome social anxiety. I am a 20-year-old guy living in a house with 5 other gay men, including my boyfriend. I am the youngest in the household by a longshot. Every now and then my roommates will invite their other friends to come over to play video games and board games (like Dungeons and Dragons), and their friends are all also their age. I can relate to them when it comes to video games, since I am a pretty big gamer myself. But I always feel as if everyone dismisses me as this young and naive kid who doesn't understand a lot of what they talk about because I'm simply way younger than them; most of them are in their late-20's to mid-30's. I'm also relatively insecure about my appearance (I still have my braces but am getting them off soon enough).

How can I overcome my social anxiety and change their naive impression of me and that I can relate to them even though I am way younger? Thanks for your input!


One important thing to keep in mind is. Often times we judge ourselves much harsher than those around us are and we assume they must think these same negative things that I do. It's just not the case.

So really when it comes down to it social anxiety is mostly caused by yourself worried about what others are thinking of you. You should try to get rid of these ideas that people are going to judge you or not like you. Even if there are things you don't like about yourself, try to let them go and accept them as who you are. When you can find a way to be comfortable with yourself then naturally you'll open up around people and you'll discover that they really weren't caring about your appearance or personality as much as you thought they were.

I know that might sound easier than it is to just do it. Just accept yourself. You don't have to like it but let it be. If you can't change it, it's not worth worrying about. Just let it go.

Think of it this way. Sure you have braces on and they look a little goofy right? Well at some point you'll have them removed and you will have great looking teeth, right? So why be bothered with having them on now?
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Ionus
 
  0  
Reply Sun 28 Jun, 2015 07:53 am
@iLevan,
Take off all your clothes and walk down the main street naked . If you are still shy after that, I got nothing....
0 Replies
 
AdanClinton
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 7 Jul, 2015 09:09 pm
@iLevan,
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.So you need to overcome your heart ,keep a good attitude towards it !
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HesDeltanCaptain
 
  0  
Reply Wed 5 Aug, 2015 08:25 am
@iLevan,
Maybe this is just me, but I'd imagine they all wanna have sex with the hot 20 yo living in their midst. But knowing you're taken, rather than getting friendly with you which is probably torture to people that wanna play with you (ahem) then keep their distance and it comes off as aloof. Smile

Thinking of the forbidden fruit around here, rather than putting myself into awkward situations I basicly ignore everybody. Smile
0 Replies
 
donna downing
 
  0  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2015 10:36 am
@iLevan,
Hey

In my opinion I don;t think that you're suffering from social anxiety. It's just you feel undermine by them because you are younger and they treat you as such which in return is diminishing your confidence. The best way is to speak up and let them know that despite your age you can actually understand them and you can actually cope up with what they are saying. Now, if you really do have confidence issues then try some workshops. Look for seminars and workshops that can train you to boost up your confidence. Practice also helps so practice with your friends who are in the same age as you and once you got your confidence show it to them if they are wise as their age then they will respect your opinion.
0 Replies
 
 

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