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Paraphrasing Exercise

 
 
Sat 16 Jan, 2016 04:31 pm
Hello guys,

I'm practising to paraphrase sentences by my own words.
Could you please correct my mistakes (just grammar mistakes)?

Thank you so much Smile


Original text:
Technology can improve the quality of life and governments need to plan carefully for the
future (Turnbull, 2015).

My paraphrasing
Technology affects everyday’s life in a positve and in a negative way. Therefore goverments have to be creative and think and act with foresight.

Original text:
The hardest language to learn is Mandarin as fluency requires memorising thousands of
characters (Johnson, 2014).

My paraphrasing
Practising Mandarin language skills permanently is indispensable to speak it fluently.

Original text:
In recent years there has been growing concern among environmentalists and some car
owners about the pollutants that cars emit into the atmosphere (Elliot, 2005).

My paraphrasing
The quantity of car emissions increase concerns of environmentalists and some car owners as well.

Original text:
The first Chinese immigrants to Australia arrived in 1848 as shepherds, land clearers and general farm hands (Irwin, 2001, p.8).

My paraphrasing
Agricultural occupation were the regularly occupation of immigrants from China to Australia in 1848.

Original text:
Brazil’s Amazon jungle is alive with millions of plant and animal species. But the jungle
shrinking. Loggers cut down trees for wood and paper (Better Lesson, 2011).

My paraphrasing
The variety of Amazons plants and animal species is threatened by loggers.

Greetings

kk
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dalehileman
 
  1  
Sat 16 Jan, 2016 05:34 pm
@Syrius007,
Technology affects everyday life in both positive and negative ways so government must strive to be creative, think and act with foresight

No offense Syr but your paraphrase of Mandarin leaves your Average Clod (me) in a cloud of confusion
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  1  
Sat 16 Jan, 2016 05:56 pm
@Syrius007,
Not strictly grammar, but


The escalation of emission quickens the concern of environmentalists as well as some car owners

...quantity...increases....

In 1848 agriculture was the usual occupation of Chinese immigrants to Australia

A variety of Amazon plant and animal species is (or are, whatever suits) threatened by loggers
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  1  
Sat 16 Jan, 2016 06:01 pm
@Syrius007,
But Syr, did you mean to retain the original sense of each
0 Replies
 
Syrius007
 
  0  
Sun 17 Jan, 2016 10:11 am
My purpose was to paraphrase alle sentences and to retain the main idea.

Are there any other mistakes? Could you please correct them?
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  0  
Sun 17 Jan, 2016 12:08 pm
@Syrius007,
So not just grammar

Your para of Mandarin, Syr, lacks specific ref to loading mem

Your para of emissions fails to emphasize its recent acceleration


Hello there everyone else, Syr is in need
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Sun 17 Jan, 2016 12:47 pm
@dalehileman,
Quote:
Hello there everyone else, Syr is in need

FFS Dale, you don't need to do that.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Sun 17 Jan, 2016 01:57 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Quote:
don't need to do that
You're right Tes, the wording might prove offensive. Syr, i hope you forgive. I was only trying to get some more opinion from those better at this sort ofd thing than Your Typical Clown (me)
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Sun 17 Jan, 2016 03:15 pm
I meant you don't need to act as a help organiser exhorting others to help someone. It's pointless. If they are reading your post they are already at the stage wherer they can decide without your intervention.
dalehileman
 
  1  
Mon 18 Jan, 2016 11:21 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
Quote:
they can decide without your intervention

I think of myself as a cripple witnessing a terrible public event, hobbling from one onlooker to the next, shouting "Do something! for God sake, do something!"
0 Replies
 
ronodob922
 
  -1  
Thu 22 Dec, 2022 04:22 pm
@Syrius007,
Hey there!
My article needs to be paraphrased. I need a tool that can do this. Anyone can use this tool for paraphrasing. If so, great! I would appreciate it if you could suggest the best one. I am waiting for your response. Many thanks.
0 Replies
 
 

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