I was cheated out of a new record by hamsters, I tellya!

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Broadly speaking, moderators can be divided into the following categories;
Rule bound moderators - these mods are usually bound to a sense of community and Internet fairness. They will go out of their way to ban anyone breaking their arbitrary rules because they are "helping" everyone out. In reality they are slowly choking to death the very forum they circle jerk over. Very common moderator type.
Passive moderators - this type of mod rarely posts on the board in question and will often lurk unseen in the shadows, hiding their online status, until such time as they need to wield their power despite being largely unknown to the community.
Vigilantes - actively cruise every thread, editing or deleting posts that are vaguely interesting or controversial, so as to maintain a general atmosphere of stagnation on the board. Most commonly found on specialist forums.
******** hopeless - the most dangerous of all, showing precious little awareness of how to do their job. This incompetence often manifests itself in such forms as ensuring that new members are watchfully policed and ruthlessly suppressed by recourse to, amongst other things, the Law of the Post Count (see below).
The popular ones - These are the mods that were appointed to their positions either by sucking off the administrator or they have n00dz floating somewhere. These are usually camwhores who you often wonder how they balance the life of being an Instagram whore and an incompetent mod. Often they don't do anything except be really bitchy to n00bs and post their pictures in the Member's photos thread wanting to be ******* attention. (Ex. of camwhore moderator, verynicelady)
The RL ******** - These are a rare breed of mod, but every once in a while, an admin takes a liking to these ladyboy traps and decides it's time for a promo. While "Teh popular ones" type of mod thinks she is in control, it's actually the "RL********" that proves the most dangerous (and also the most likely to be the resident "drama queen"). Expect them to get in nice and cozy with an admin, and secretly be their personal bitch. We don't want to imply who the real bitch is however, since generally it's the******** that becomes the most "persuasive" when it comes to decision making. If you try to pwn them for their epic failures as a mod, they'll automatically show their ********* by pulling the gay card. Beware of this, but it's still epic lulz.
**ULTRA RARE** The laid back mod - These are the few and proud moderators who were former trolls and decided to balance being a troll and being a good forum user and ended up somehow getting picked to be moderators.They usually don't jump into forum raids right away because a part of them would like to see the epic lulz in action.They usually don't care much about spam and stupid new members and it's rare for them to get motivated to ban someone.The admins hate these type of mods and like to often find ways to replace them with more of the types described above. But in real life they're really just basement dwellers who want to get respect from people on the internets that they will never meet.
Opinionies - One of the most uncommon Mods, there are only about one OPI Moderator in every forum, and they usually ban people or follow those who disagree with them. Their mission is to find people who they don't agree with, and simply ban them. They are waiting for you to do something that is "against the rules" and "send you home" for that thing. They not only hate people who have an opinion and should have the right to speak about it, but they also hate people who don't have any opinion at all. They are "the bad" Mods, but if your opinion and their opinion are the same, they won't ban you. Even God is afraid of them. They are the ****** of the internet. These Moderators are almost the worst kind.
Emo Moderators - These Mods parade around the forum telling other users how much everyone hates them because they're moderators, and proceed to ban themselves OVAR 9000!!11!1 times. You rarely see these Mods because they're too busy being fags in real life. The only possible reason of them becoming moderators is if the administrators are ****tsk tsk****themselves.
Proud Moderators - Fairly common Mod, they're usually newbies that start to cum buckets when they are FINALLY made a moderator after months or even years of "helping" users (while losing many friends due to being*********) and sucking the admin's ****** They are basically the egotistical, self-loving *****tards that see themselves as some sort of authority figure or online law enforcement. They always have to remind people of their status by posting "Moderator for >insert board here<" next to their profile. They have never achieved anything in the real world before and always aspired to be a moderator for a forum/website so they are finally seen as relevant and no longer picked on.

NOTE:-Ive edited some of the more colorful words out because, while they are actually parts of speech, I rarely see them used in posts by folks who are not insane.