Well, don't push it. I mean, if you were trying to make a decision, I'm sure you'd be annoyed if someone kept trying to take your temperature every five minutes (are you done yet? Have you decided yet? etc.).
I'm not saying that you are, but I am suggesting that you pull back. And, you might consider the old chestnut that if you love something, set it free and see if it'll come back to you. After all, if it takes only 3 weeks for her to change her mind about how things are with you, what's going to happen the next time there are issues in your relationship? Do you really want to be with someone who can fall out of love that quickly?
My advice - do what you can to pass the time and do so without initiating contact unless she specifically wants it. Ask, don't assume, is it okay for me to email you in the meantime? If it is, great. If not, do other things. And the time will come and it will either all work out, or it won't.
3 months, Jespah! Give the girl a little credit!
Remember that saying, 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? Well, that's not always so accurate. You've been living apart for quite a while now. I may be repeating myself here but I think that she needs to remember how much she loves being with you. I think Jespah's right in advising you not to prod her too much, no one likes being pushed into a decision.
If you want her to think positively about you and your upcoming visit I recommend suspending talk of her decision. Try talking about other subjects, maybe plan things to do when you get there. Ask about other things going on in her life.
Oh, oops, 3 weeks, 3 months, sorry 'bout that.
hey guys its working ,
I stopped winning , and asking her to come to decision . I stopped bringing out the topic completely .......She refrains from time to time but keeps calling me .....She still on sure .but for the first time i could make her laugh again .......she was happy and has cancelled all her plans for weekend for now to look into this matter ......
I cant cut out communication........coz she keeps calling .....i asked my best friend who is also close to her to take her out tonite and keep her in good spirits till i come there ........i dont want to argue tonite ......Tomm 11-30 when i ring her bell its gonna change my entire life for better or worse........
Hi guys ,
Its me again .........
so here how it was ........
Im outside her door bell thinking what to do ....i finally get the courage to ring the bell ..
she opens the door .....and .......we forgot everything .....all our quarrels everything .......
3 days we spent just on the bed .......lying there hugging each other ..we didnt even go out of the house .......
Sunday Night ....im assuming everythings ok right .....we have made up and everythings forgotten .....Out of no where she tells me its not working .....She had an image in her mind when i would meet her ......it didnt work for her ....she told me its over ........
I tried to take it as sportingly as i could but i couldnt hide my tears ......I told her , i dont want her to see me like this so i will leave now ......my flight was in the morning at 7 am and i told her ill leave at 12 05 am and started packing my stuff..
SHe became hysterical .....and suddenly i see she is on my feet ....shes begging me not to go .....i told her why you doing this to me you just told me its over .......She tells me it hurt a lot to say that .....and she can never be sure what she wants ......she says she wants more time ....and then asked me to make love to her .......
God im really confused ...Now i am going back in 2 weeks to NY on the long weekend ...........hopefully it should be clear to ehr then .........
I went there to solve her confusion .........now im confused !!!
Whats happening here !
Wow, I just got back to this thread.
Hmm, OK. Seems like the time for waiting is over. It's time to act. You need to sit this girl down and seriously talk with her. No flaring emotions, no blame or pushing, just talk. Try to sort out what's going on in her mind. Do it in person if you can.
i am really trying here.....
I am going back to NY this long weekend in 2 weeks........
We still talk on the phone as usual .........
she somehow has lost the trust that she had in me .........i mean whatever i do it backfires .....to her its like im making a effort to change her mind or push my decision on to her .......
