Need quick advice on love

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Hi ,

I have spend the most beautiful 16 months with a girl.She had been my best friend for years and then we started seeing each other .

The last 16 months have been the best .....Although i have been in california since last 8 months and shes in New york ....we never ever felt disconnected. We had the spark until i proposed for marriage this week .......

Since her parents were giving her constant pressure for marriage , i always knew that come this november she would have to decide to choose between marriage and me . I wasnt ready for marriage coz i use to be career frenzy. Even though i loved her i could never tell her how much i loved her ....never ....more coz i thought it might become difficult when she has to move on .

Now when i did , she told me why now ? why after all this while when i have spent the entire 2 months looking for reasons to fall out of love with you . Although we never did break up , she isnt ready now .....she says she needs time .....shes confused.....I am flying to New york this weekend to take a chance at convincing her .........

I know the best is to give her space now to decide ? but how to i give her space to think of reasons to fall out of love .!!!!!

Please advice

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Is the New York trip a definite thing?

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yes ....i booked my tickets.......we had decided that we would never discuss this over the phone ......so there is a chance she just wants to tell me personally if its over or no ..........

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Im so scared that i keep calling her and asking her to give our love one last chance to pull us through ..SHe hasnt said no , but she hasnt said yes either ........Its may be becoz she still doesnt want to hurt me .......shes still my best friend

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My suggestion, don't ask her again. At least not now. Just show up in New York with a huge smile a very romantic kiss and an "I missed you".

At this point your girlfriend is doing some very serious thinking about her future so pushing her is the very worst thing you can do, her automatic reaction will be to panic.

All you can do right now is be as loving as possible and show her she's special to you. No crying, no begging, no "please don't leave me", she doesn't need guilt trips at the moment, she needs to remember how good being with you is.

When she's ready to talk, let her talk. Listen very closely and judge her words as fairly as possible, if she decides to stay with you then show her the best time of her life. If not, you can either attempt to accept it gracefully (as if anyone managed that) or try to woo her back. I repeat, DON'T BEG. Flowers and chocolates are a much greater aphrodisiac than damp and clingy sobbing.

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Vicky,

Remember one simple thing.

You can't make up someone else's mind--EVER. That's something they need to do for themselves.

Yes, someone can be swayed. But, ultimately, the choice must be made by them. A true and valid decision. Don't make your trip in vain.

I'd say trust your instincts. If you feel she'll fly, then let her go, she wasn't ever yours to begin with, and keep your happy memories.

Cool

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I know thats the best ......to leave her alone .....i tried to give her time ....told her take a week off .........we decide when i get there .........but couldnt stop myself from calling her .....

I knwo when u say if she fly , let her go ,she was never mine right .........

But all she wanted these 2 years was me to tell her im ready to have a life with her .....thats all she wanted ........she told me several times ...but i didnt have a time ......She use to keep telling me that ........now its just me who keeps telling her that .........

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She still calls me 8 times a day .......talking to me hours ....we only hang up when i bring out the topic to give me chance .........

she just msg me she will call as soon as she is done with her friends ......Todays her birdthday ......she a leo ......tough.......im taurean....stubborn .......its very strange how u start believing in such things once something like this happens .........i will wait .........i think i didnt love a weak person who wont rise up to the challenge ......i hope shes able to see more roses than the thorns in this relationship........

Im like a prisoner ........just waiting for the death sentence .......i have a week to live.....atleast shes with me this week ........

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Vicky,

Then tell her and allow her to make the choice. At that time, cut OFF the communication. Her choices will become quite clear to her then. Think of it as a dash of icy cold water.

It IS wake-up call time.

All you can do is sit back and wait.

I'll cross my fingers for ya.

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Thanks for everything guys , every second goes by its getting harder .......but ill wait .....i have to .....keep the encouraging words coming ....i need all the love i can get .........

Thanks .

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Good luck, Vicky! I hope the trip turns out the way you want it to. Cool

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Vicky,

Hang in there. Knowing that you aren't alone is half the battle. You can endure--and either win or lose this decision, you will ultimately thrive.

Good luck!

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we spoke again last nite ...it was beautiful.......i connected to her a bit ........feel relieved.....She called me at 7 am ......my wake up call like usual .......i hope shes coming around !

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I wish you luck too Vicky. One piece of advice (that's already been said here, but I'll try to put an astrological spin on it), Taurus, you, Leo, her. What she needs is to feel that marriage is her idea. Pushing it will get you nowhere, but your Taurean sttubornness wants to push it, despite the fact that (from your posts) you know it won't work on her. I am so glad to hear that things are going well. I would suggest that when you do speak to her, if marriage comes up, just say something like "it's okay, we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." Make it about her, keep telling her she's beautiful and you love her, but let her instigate the marriage talk.

One thing about Taureans (I'm married to one), the great thing about them is that the stubborn streak can be channeled into a very powerful patience. You are earth, she is fire. Only the patience of the earth can keep the fire going. Cause an avalanche though, end of story. It sounds like you two have a really good thing going, and if you just give her the time, I think she'll come around. Wink

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Hi ........

My moms into astrology ......I never believed in it ....But i want to ......I never really believed in anything .......i want to ......!!!

What you have said above makes perfect sense.....i keep pushing she keeps backing off ......i stopped pushing shes called and said sorry .......I think i complety caught her off guard when i proposed for marriage . Thinks she is in shock .......i cant wait for saturday.....

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Keep us informed!

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definetly will .........i cant get thru this week without your guys .....thats all the support i have .....

also if anyone can tell me what should be my first reaction when i see her .......I think ill just rush to her hug her and kiss her .....i wont be able to stop myself .........But i dont want her to back off .......if she does i might just have a stroke or something right there ......

My chest feels so heavy .......How come something so beautiful can hurt so bad !

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Well, i've already given you my thoughts on the matter! Very Happy

1)Big smile

2)"Missed you!"

3)Romantic kiss

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Fortune has good advice. I'll just add a revision to your last post to keep you in good spirits. Ask "How can something so beautiful hurt so good?"

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Hi guys,

She called and wanted to talk ........She said she cant make up her mind and wants to wait till i get there ....But she thinks that i might be beyond her reach . She said she was tired of waiting around for me and might have just moved on .....She says shes at a point she doesnt know if she can return to herself where she was with me 3 months back .

How do i solve this confusion ......I dont want her thinking negative till i get there ......I can only make this work if she has the will to make it work !

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