6
   

What do you do when you notice you are turning into one of your parents?

 
 
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 08:25 am
I have heard myself say a few things recently and made a few lifestyle choices that make me worried I am turning into my Dad.

I love my dad but he is very negative and perhaps not that wise in his career decisions. He decided to try and run a family on the money earned through making a very specific type of circus equipment and consequently had a very hard life, I am having considerable doubts over my decision to direct operas for a living...

My Dad is also quite convinced that once you get past a certain age you can't achieve anything, which I have always completely contested, but heard myself say it to myself a number of times recently.

I am trying to learn from him and not repeat his mistakes, now I've realised what's happening, I can do that, right?
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 08:58 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
Depends. Did he repeat the mistakes of his parent(s)?
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 09:00 am
@DrewDad,
On a related note, I have made a conscious decision to live most of my life the opposite of how my parents did, and I can say that I'm much happier than they were at my age.
0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 09:03 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
I think I need one more piece of information first, before I can advise you.

Tell me, this opera you are thinking of directing.....is it set in a circus?
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 10:12 am
@Lordyaswas,
Haha no i have never directed an opera in a circus.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 10:38 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
I have always believed that we are profoundly impacted by our parents and we will likely be like them or completely opposite, but we will never be indifferent. I'm sure your father had many good traits. Be happy if those make it to you. As for the ones you disagree with, be the opposite and prove him wrong. Direct awesome operas into your eighties.
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 12:24 pm
@engineer,
Quote:
we are profoundly impacted by our parents
Yea Eng, we're almost all of us victims of cause and effect
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 12:43 pm
@dalehileman,
Gene and common environment has much to do with it.
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Dec, 2015 01:59 pm
@cicerone imposter,
Yea Cis, cause and effect
0 Replies
 
parkol
 
  1  
Reply Mon 28 Mar, 2016 01:00 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
Kinda late but feel like contributing too.
Quote:
I love my dad but he is very negative
.
You can be influenced bu that but You can control it, attitude is not inherited but learned but is contiguous and tempting. I know it might sound childish but the first thing is not to entertain negative thoughts and seek distraction, easier said than done but worth giving it a try.
Also sometimes being a pessimism is useful as it protect us from disappointment, as we anticipate the worst outcome so we won't demolished when it hits, but then all in moderation if negativity feeds fear, an that prevent us from taking action then we should find a way around it.
Quote:
I love my dad

That is a good sign as You were able to see him through his negativity, sometime we might reach our limits where hope seems dangerous, then we don't trust the circumstances.
Quote:
I am having considerable doubts

Doubts are always around, we can not predict the future, whatever decision You will make, doubts don't change the chances of success directly but my affect Your decisions. I'd say whatever decision is made do not try to prove Yourself right or wrong, e.g if failed - then telling yourself "i was right about having doubts".
Whatever happens, treat Yourself with compassion, if any mistakes made on the way learn and forget do not beat Yourself up.
Don't worry too much about Your father's comments that might feel discouraging, parents say things to protect their kids. No wonder, life is tough enough, i personally thing that as kids we should be thought how to deal with failure building up our resilience and keep trying gathering wisdom and experience. If failed You can always say at least I have tried, If You won't try You will never know.
The choice is Yours plus full responsibility for Your actions.
We all make mistakes, and some of them have to be made like "don't touch it's hot" when we are toddlers, back then we are like "ok I suppose I'll touch it" and with a sore finger we are wiser. Of course the stake is higher now, but sometimes our bigger mistakes are our best decisions when we look back.
Fingers crossed.
0 Replies
 
Thomas33
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Jul, 2016 07:39 pm
I never do. I've always been different to other people, although I am conscientious of people copying other people and the reasons for doing so.
Essentially, I think people copy others because of bitterness.
cicerone imposter
 
  3  
Reply Sun 31 Jul, 2016 08:09 pm
@Thomas33,
I'm sort of like Thomas33. Our mother was christian, and all my siblings are christians. I'm an atheist. I was the last in our family to earn a college degree.
However, I also believe I've lived a happier life. I've traveled to over 200 countries, with around 80 unique ones. I have friends in many different countries; many I have met on a2k and during my travels. My memory is getting worse, but I'll try to list the countries i have traveled to:
Australia, Argentina, Austria, Albania, Antigua, Bahamas, Belgium, Bhutan, Botswana, Barbados, Beliz, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, Canada, Costa Rica, Croatia, Czech Republic, China, Chile, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Denmark, England, Egypt, Ecuador, Fiji, France, Finland, Greece, Germany, Honduras, Hungary Holland, Ireland, Italy, Iceland, Israel, Japan, Jordan, Krygystan, Kazakhstan, Korea (layover), Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Malaysia, Malta, Monaco, Montenegro, Morocco, Mexico, Namibia, Nepal, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Palestine, Peru, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, South Africa, Switzerland, St Kits, St Lucia, Singapore, Tajikistan, Turkey, Tunisia, Tanzania, Turkministan, Uzbekistan, United Kingdom, Uzbekistan, Vatican City, Vietnam, Zambia, and Zimbabwe.
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2016 10:53 am
@cicerone imposter,
Wow, Cis
cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 1 Aug, 2016 01:44 pm
@dalehileman,
oooops, I forgot India. I visited there three times and have traveled from the north to south.
I also mistakenly listed Uzbekistan twice.
0 Replies
 
 

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